One of our members posted about Nails, and it reminded me that I've been wanting to post about tattoos for some time now. So here we go! I have a small tattoo on my right ankle....a vine entertwining a generic flower. It was supposed to be a cherry blossom but the tattooist didn't really understand what I wanted I guess. Nonetheless it did the job it was supposed to do, which was to signify an emotional break from my abusive ex-husband, some time before I was able to physically leave! He HATED anything floral, and forbade it in the house or in my dress or anywhere that he could see it. I on the other hand love floral themed things. So as a result of his abhorrence, there was no floral anything in our house...no window treatments, bedspreads, floral patterned kitchenware, dish towels, clothes, art......nothing at all. I also loved the idea of tattoos...have since I was very young. Something else that was forbidden. So of course you know that when I finally found the courage to make the break, the very FIRST thing I did was I went out and got myself TATTOED with THE THING he hated the most! A permanent thumbing my nose to him and his rules and his control and his dominance! Go me!!! I think I have a picture of it. Hang on............ Also since I started having children, I've wanted to get a tattoo that would represent them in some manner. Along with that, I have had a lifelong love of butterflies. Recently all that came together in a way that showed me what kind of tattoo I wanted to get next. It will be a very stylized butterfly image, very ornate with lots of filigree in the wings, lots of white space, very fine, delicate lines....and the names of each of my five children incorporated into the wing and torso design. Very much like this image below, but imagine the lines even finer, with more filigree in them. Plus the color won't be purple....I'm still deciding on what would look best against my skin tone. The two bold lines on each side of the torso will be tweaked so that they are replaced with each of my four boys names flowing outward, in a delicate cursive script. And then my daughter's name will be incorporated into the torso somehow.....she's in the middle, the boys surround her protectively...which is the way it's always been in real life. This tattoo is hugely meaningful to me. It will be on my upper back, stretching between my shoulder blades. No one but my family and Ned will even know it's there unless I tell them like I'm telling you all....and it won't even be seen unless in the summertime I happen to wear something that has a scooping back. I don't think I even own anything like that....other than a swimsuit. See, I'm doing the tat for ME, a symbol of my family and my enduring love and devotion to my children. It's not for shock value, so others can see and comment. It's deeply personal and meaningful. I've been researching tattoo artists for some time, noticing other folks' ink that I really like and finding out where they got theirs done etc. I've been working at this for several years now...and I finally found the guy I want to do the work. I have an actual appointment with him in January of next year...he's hugely successful and is booked up for 2 - 3 months out. I am really, really excited about this. It's something I've been planning since I started having children, and I'm finally making it happen. Whether you are into tattoos or not (and I know at least one member here who is! but I won't mention names in case she doesn't want to be outed) I hope you will be able to appreciate the significance and deep meaning this has for me, and be happy for me!
Your story moves me to tears Ronni. I admire your tattoo dream and the way you have planned it. Of course I'm happy for you. You go, girl! My personal tastes don't come into this at all since it has such deep meaning for you. The only thing I would like is for you to share the finished artwork if you feel like it.
I, personally, am not into tats for myself, mainly because I don't like pain! The one you have and the one you plan to have sounds very special to me though. You go, girl!
Do what you've got to do to make yourself happy!!!!! The pain, oh the pain.....that puts an end to any tattoo thoughts I might ever have. But, having been through a 'thumbing of the nose' experience in my past I can totally relate to the symbolism of the act of getting the tattoo. (I just got my ears pierced and let my hair grow, both strongly objected to at one time). I do have some temporary 'tramp stamp' decals that are pretty cool to wear. My oldest daughter has two small ones that she hides from most people. She teaches at a church connected school and was unsure about letting the students see the one on her shoulder but once she saw all the tattoos that the middle school principal was sporting she 'came out' so to speak.
I am a fan of ink. I have one verry verrry large one. LOL. The only thing I have to say to my dear friend Ronni, make sure you get tattoos for yourself. No one else has to live with them more than yourself. You deserve to do and to get what you want.
Hey Ronni, I have to say that my reaction to your posting was quite similar to Droopy's. I found it so very sad. So very unfair. I appreciate your choices and reasons behind them. I hope that you will never have to experience such despicable treatment ever again. This is something that I feel very strongly about and I view you as a sort of family member as well as the rest of the folks here. The longer we stay members, the stronger the bond and support. You know by now that you have a family here that will always support you. I can also respect your candour. I am, as you wished in your opening...happy for you.
Firstly good for you Ronni for breaking away from the abuse you suffered for so long. You more than deserve you freedom and now you can do exactly what you want to do and have wanted for so long. I don't have any tattoos myself but my daughter has one on her upper right arm. I really like the idea of the butterfly (not just because I love butterflies too) but because it means so much to you. I think tattoos should be something meaningful as, after all. they are going to be with you for the rest of your life. I'm so happy for you Ronni and so glad you now have the freedom to choose exactly what you want out of life.
Wow Ware--visiting you must be like a trip to the Butterfly House. chuckle. Do you have to be maintained at a certain temperature and fed sugar water?
Thank you all, so much. I really appreciate the support. Yes, this is for ME....entirely for me. I'm not doing it for anyone else BUT me, and in a few cases (not close friends thankfully, and certainly not my family!) I am doing it in the face of cautioning statements or outright disapproval. I don't care. The butterfly has a deep significance for me. Early on in my marriage when the trouble began, I would envision the beautiful butterfly and its perfection, how light and almost ephemeral it was, and wish for that in my marriage, aspire to it. Enough time passed and then I realized that would never happen, so the butterfly became my "happy place" of sorts, where I would escape to in my mind and dwell on its beauty to temporarily free myself from the wretchedness of my marriage. And then even later, once I found the courage to plan my escape, the butterfly became my symbol of liberation. I was escaping my abusive marriage much the way a butterfly escapes, finally and with much struggle, its confining chrysalis and emerges into the light, free and beautiful, to stretch its wings and fly. Sorry.....got a bit verbose there But yes, the butterfly has much significance. Since my love affair with it began so many years ago, it's recently become a popular symbol not just in tattoos (and I'm thinking specifically of the tramp stamp so many young women began sporting but other uses too) and so for a while I pondered maybe NOT getting a butterfly tattoo to support my children's names. I didn't want to appear trendy or faddish or like I was embracing the image just because it was A Thing. But then I realized ...... NOT getting that tattoo just because so many people had gotten it, is in its own way just as much a knee-jerk reaction as GETTING it because so many people had gotten it. Y'know? So that solved THAT! Barb, you were the one I thought of when I mentioned in my starter post that a member here was into tattoos, and so I'm glad you commented. That large tattoo that you have is absolutely stunning. I've seriously considered having my torso tattooed.....a cherry blossom branch because of its significance (the fragility and the beauty of life....how precious but also how precarious life is so enjoy it to its fullest) upon which a butterfly or two rests....the butterflies for the reasons already stated. I'm so glad I'm finally able do this tattoo....did I mention how excited I am?
Ronni, You are a cool lady. We each must do what is in our own hearts. sjoerd, You don't need to feed sugar water around me for I am sweet enough. *chuckle right back at ya* All my butterflies love me and will stick with me forever.....
I set myself up for that response didn't I Ware. hahaha. Like Ware said, one must do what is in one's heart.
Bringing this back to share some of the work I've had done since I originally posted. I need to get a good picture taken of my butterfly....it's on my back so obviously difficult to snap a pic myself. It's a work in progress right now...more color to be added, more scroll work, but we got the basic image down. Meanwhile, while that one was healing, I got another one. I had a tat on my ankle that was supposed to be a cherry blossom. It's a pretty image but NOT what I wanted. Anyway, my amazing artist Caitlyn did a fabulous cover up job! The Cherry Blossom also has deep significance for me...... it represents the fragility and transience and beauty of life. It reminds me that life is precarious, but also overwhelmingly beautiful and precious, and is to be cherished. I love the finished work. Cover-ups are really hard to do under any circumstances, and this one, on my ankle, is a particularly difficult area to work. I couldn't be more pleased!
