Restaurant dress codes

We rarely dine out, and when we do, it is usually for lunch. However, when we vacation we like to go to good restaurants that might even be considered "high end."
I wear a skirt, low heels, and a dressy top. My husband is in slacks, a nice dress shirt, and if he feels it's necessary, a tie and sports jacket.
We have been seated next to people in shorts, backwards baseball caps, and flip-flops. Once the sight (unavoidable) of the next diner's hairy legs was so disgusting that I asked if he (thank heavens it was a HE) could be moved to another table.
When you are dining at a good restaurant, do you expect the patrons to dress for the occasion? Do you feel that dressing for the restaurant experience adds to your enjoyment?
And as an aside, shouldn't men remove their hats, backwards or forwards, when inside?
Thank you, rant over, and I'm going to go polish my tiara now.

 

Toni, believe me, I did not want to see those pencil-thin, overly-hairy appendages! If I could have avoided the sight, I would have!

 

Mostly I'm out for breakfast and lunch. Going out for supper or dinner is rare but when I'm in a good or upper end restaurant I do like to see other patrons 1) NOT wearing hats forewards, backwards or otherwise. Inside = no hat. 2) personally I don't like seeing men wearing tank tops - the kind of top that has no sleeves and low scooped necked. If white they're like old fashioned underwear. If you're at the beach these are great but I wouldn't want to see men wearing those in the evening in a formal restaurant setting. 3) no bare feet.

Guess I'm showing my age or prudish side but I appreciate seeing "smart casual" whereby you're basically looking neat, clean and pressed.

That above being said I rarely go out in the evening so I'm not bothered with being bothered and if I was in a restaurant where another person turned up bare feet/no shirt I doubt I'd say anything about it. Wouldn't like it but doubt I'd lodge a complaint.

 

We don't go to posh restaurants but we do go to nicer ones occasionally and, as I like an excuse to dress up a little, I do. I don't pay a lot of attention to the way other people are dressed but some of the foul language people use will set me off big time. I would expect it in a bar but not in a nice restaurant.

 

2ofus, you are so right about the language. The foul language is usually delivered in stentorian tones that can be heard several tables away!
It isn't just restaurants, though. We have neighbors we no longer visit with because the husband tosses curses and ethnic slurs into almost every sentence. I had told him once that "street talk" belonged on the street, not our living room. The next time they came over he started right in with referring to ethnic groups with words I hadn't heard since the 1950's. My husband told them that although we would like to be good neighbors, we just couldn't put up with bigotry, racism, and foul language in our home, so please don't come visit again.

 

I virtually never happens anymore but I can't stand it if anybody lights up a cigarette inside (inside anywhere). Few years back it would occasionally happen and restaurant staff were usually immediately present requesting the smoker put out the ciggie but I personally don't like seeing anybody smoking anywhere.

Cell phones going off are also a bit of a pain. One would think if you're out to dine you'd want to concentrate on the food and company you're with NOT whomever is trying to buzz you in cyber world. Loud cell phone conversations are also annoying and I will, unabashed, listen if you're within earshot as I feel no compunction to look away or in anyway change what I'm doing to afford you some privacy for your conversation particularly in a restaurant.

 

If I am going to an expensive restaurant, I expect people to be dressed well and be well behaved. No hats inside, no cell phones ringing or loud conversations, no obnoxious children or obnoxious behavior in general. One of my biggest pet peeves these days is parents who don't watch their children, or allow them to be loud and cause a disturbance.

 

Here's the thing about that, as someone who is frequently in restaurants with young children, either with their parents or just the kids and me.

We don't take them to restaurants that aren't family friendly, which limits the options and choices of food, but it's the obvious solution when you're toting small children along and need to feed them. We try really, really hard to not disturb other patrons even IN these family friendly places. But kids will be kids, and they're going to be somewhat boisterous. They're just not old enough yet to sit quietly while they wait for their food, or to be patient and unmoving when they're finished but the parents aren't. They're not allowed to run up and down the aisles or disturb other patrons, and if something happens and they get really upset, throw a tantrum, or are otherwise very loud for some reason, someone takes them outside. We all try and be considerate of everyone else in the place.

That said, I get really mad when I get a dirty look from someone else when the kids are just sitting in the booth, maybe laughing or maybe even being a tad too loud as I work to get them settled down and involved with a game on my phone or one of the toys or books or other distracting type options I always bring with me. I mean, seriously! This is a place for families!! There are GOING to be kids here, and they are going to ACT like kids even when they're being well mannered and otherwise contained.

If you enjoy being around kids that little, DON'T come to a family restaurant!

..........sorry....sorry for the rant....

As you were.

 

@Ronni - I have 3 grandkids and if we go to a Restaurant it is for lunch (not like at 7pm) and, like you, nobody gets to race up and down or scream or otherwise carry on. We almost 99.9% go to Restaurant (family ones) AFTER we've burned off excess energy at a playground, park or beach. They're going to be a bit loud at times but kids will be kids. Other peoples children doing the same middle of the day have never bothered me but I do not appreciate being out 7 - 8pm in the evening in an adult restaurant with boisterous kids. Should a Restaurant allow the kiddies in and allow them to be loud I would be complaining to management and would that would be fair game for anybody to do that. Depending I might leave but, as I said, I'm really hardly ever out in the evening.

I do believe it is important to take the kids to Restaurants. They do need to know and understand they're 'out in public' so to speak and there are rules for being 'out in public.' If they're not exposed to all sorts of different situations they won't ever learn and I'd much rather have a kid who is aware of all sorts of different social venues than one who has basically been kept at home.

 

Completely agree. The times I've had a young child (toddler or preschool) out after 7 have been few, and I've been even more choosy about where I'm going to stop to feed them. But I DO think it's important that the kids get the experience of dining out, and as they get older, dressing up to eat at a higher end establishment. I think exposing kids to a large variety of different experiences, dining and otherwise, is part of the parenting job description. Exposing them, and teaching them the rules of behavior in the various locales. Obviously kids are going to behave very differently at a Chuck E Cheez's than at a Logans, and it's important for them to know the rules for each. Or at a library versus a Mickey D's playground. Or a doctor's office versus a friend's house. The comparisons are endless. Kids need to know the rules. They may not even agree with them but it's not about that. It's about giving them an understanding about appropriate behavior in different situations. And also about learning the consequences of not following the rules too.

Those are life lessons that every kid needs to learn, not just to be well behaved children, but even more important to be well adjusted, self sufficient and functioning adults.

 

@ Ronni - Couldn't have said it better. My two were taken everywhere and learned the ropes early on. I wanted them aware and comfortable in and and all situation and I wanted to make sure they understood the rules of the road anywhere too.

My Grandkids are basically ok everywhere. They all have some hearing deficits and so do talk loud occasionally and we (me/parents etc) have to remind them to 'lower your voice' and they immediately do as we've all taken lots of time explaining to them the need for 'little voices' when they're out. Nor do we expect, at 3 and 6 that they're going to sit for hours and hours but they're more then good to get through a 1 hour session anywhere.

 

In fast food restaurants I have seen men wearing their baseball hats backwards or forwards. Sometimes the men remove the hat. Sometimes other men do not remove the hat.

 

People are different, they dress different, live different ways, eat different things, etc. than others...it's the way they are....just as creatures in Nature are different and eat and live in different ways, have different fur, skin, scales or whatever...How "boring" would it be if every creature were the same..one creature was all there was, no others....?
A lot of times on this site and others, I move on when something posted is just out of line or whatever but If one person can post their "gripe" well I have the same right to mine.....This is ridiculous...that someone would think of another person not being "good enough" or "proper enough" to sit by them or eat a meal because of the way they're dressed... Some people expect others to "cookie cut" themselves to be like them.. The very thing that is wrong with the world today. Just look at what this mentality has done to the Native Americans in the U.S...."kill the Indian, save the man" was the motto of the early times of cultural genocide in the U.S....it's still in some peoples dominating, controlling spirit today. People came to a land that was not theirs, forced their ways on the native people, robbed the children and people of their own culture, nature and land, murdered hundreds of thousands of Natives and continue to do so all around the world to this day. But yet these same arrogant, self-centered people call the Natives and any others that are not "just like them" ..they call them savages...Need to look up the definition of savage. If you are so "full of yourself" that you think that you are better than others because of the way you dress, outward appearances, what you have...then you are the problem. The Lord came as a poor man, not even a place to lay his head, dressed in poor clothing, wearing sandals, etc...I can see how some would have treated Him...sad, really sad.. Most don't seem to be able to discern right from wrong...it's a sad society we must dwell in today.
Now to whomever it concerns....You can kick me off this site if you want but if this is the kind of people that are here I don't care to be a part of it anyway...That is childish, controlling other people, mentality, it runs rampant in some for sure.