Conspiracy.

Discussion in 'Jokes and Games' started by eileen, Feb 2, 2013.

  1. eileen

    eileen Resident Taxonomist Staff Member Moderator Plants Contributor

    Joined:
    Feb 7, 2005
    Messages:
    29,088
    Likes Received:
    6,281
    Location:
    Scotland
    THIS IS HAPPENING RIGHT HERE IN OUR OWN COUNTRY! I thought you should all know, we Must Stop This Immediately!!!

    Have you noticed that stairs are getting steeper ? Groceries are heavier ... and, everything is farther away. Yesterday I walked to the corner and I was dumbfounded to discover how long our street had become!

    And, you know, people are less considerate now, especially the young ones. They speak in whispers all the time! If you ask them to speak up they just keep repeating themselves, endlessly mouthing the same silent message until they're red in the face! What do they think I am, a lip reader?

    I also think they are much younger than I was at the same age. On the other hand, people my own age are so much older than I am. I ran into an old friend the other day and she has aged so much that she didn't even recognize me.

    I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was combing my hair this morning, and in doing so, I glanced at my own reflection…well, REALLY NOW - even mirrors are not made the way they used to be!

    Another thing, everyone drives so fast these days! You're risking life and limb if you happen to pull onto the highway in front of them. All I can say is, their brakes must wear out awfully fast, the way I see them screech and swerve in my rear view mirror.

    Clothing manufacturers are less civilized these days. Why else would they suddenly start labeling a size 10 or 12 dress as 18 or 20? Do they think no one notices? The people who make bathroom scales are pulling the same prank. Do they think I actually 'believe' the number I see on that dial? HA! I would never let myself weigh that much! Just who do these people think they're fooling?

    I'd like to call up someone in authority to report what's going on -- but the telephone company is in on the conspiracy too: they've printed the phone books in such small type that no one could ever find a number in there!

    All I can do is pass along this warning:
    WE ARE UNDER ATTACK!

    Unless something drastic happens, pretty soon everyone will have to suffer these awful indignities.

    PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW AS SOON AS POSSIBLE SO WE CAN GET THIS CONSPIRACY STOPPED!

    PS: I am sending this to you in a larger font size, because something has happened to my computer's fonts - they are smaller than they once were.
     
    toni, Henry Johnson, TheBip and 4 others like this.
  2. Netty

    Netty Chaotic Gardener Plants Contributor

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2006
    Messages:
    18,461
    Likes Received:
    5,557
    Location:
    Southern Ontario zone 5b
    haha It's happening here too!!
     
  3. Henry Johnson

    Henry Johnson In Flower

    Joined:
    Dec 12, 2006
    Messages:
    962
    Likes Received:
    732
    Location:
    Sou.Cen. Alabama
    Chuckle, chuckle, I've been noticing those same phenomena here in SE-USA..
     
  4. marlingardener

    marlingardener Happy

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2010
    Messages:
    11,502
    Likes Received:
    13,893
    Location:
    Central Texas, zone 8
    And, have you noticed how tiny the print is on instructions, whether for medicine, assembly of equipment, or even recipes?
    And what is with this ROFL, LOL, WTH, and other acronyms? Is there a secret code known only to those under 30?
    And if anyone can explain to me why you need to actually SEE the person phoning you (I don't put on make-up and dress in my Sunday-go-to-meeting clothes just to answer the phone) I'd sure appreciate it.
    The world is not passing me by, but I'm sure not going to get in my Model T Ford and try to keep up with it!
     
    Henry Johnson and Donna S like this.



    Advertisement
  5. Tooty2shoes

    Tooty2shoes Hardy Maple

    Joined:
    Jun 15, 2011
    Messages:
    3,265
    Likes Received:
    1,513
    Location:
    Denmark, Wis.
    The reason that the print is smaller on a lot of items it that they have hired mice to do the typing. Mice type is very hard to read. :D
     
  6. chocolate

    chocolate In Flower

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    765
    Likes Received:
    492
    Location:
    Australia
    Actually...it seems to be worldwide.
     

Share This Page