Sjoerd Got His Willy Wet

It was sunny, cool and dry today, and the wind was gentle. Today would be the day that we would replace the aged willow hurdle we had made years ago now. We’ve been talking about replacing it for some time.

Right then, we hopped on the bikes and pumped out to the lottie.

This time we would use a piece of concrete reenforcement mesh. We had a long length of beach matting that we had picked up along the way. It was three mats sewn together, so they had to clipped apart.
Well, we clipped one off and secured it to the mesh, took the mesh hurdle over to the pile of supplies, removed the old willow hurdle and adjusted the vertical tree poles to the right position. I pounded them in with a rubber paving hammer and we were ready to secure the screen to the uprights when my Bride suddenly said, that I ought to remove that bee from my pant leg.

I heard bees around my head and saw two flying up at me, I turned my head and felt one land just under the rim of the lower left eyelid. I raked it off, but he stung me before I could dislodge her.

I heard more bees, so I backed up an wiped at where the stinger packet was. I lost my balance on the soft, sloping ground and my lower left leg banged against the retaining wall, edging the canal. My leg stopped, but I did not and over I went, flailing like a windmill.

I twisted as I fell into the canal, landing on my butt and one leg. My leg went straight down and I wondered when it would stop. When it all stopped only my chest and head were above water. I heard my Bride yelling something as I flounced about like someone going down in quicksand. I tried pulling myself out of that sucking muck, but it was a struggle, as I could feel I had pulled my back in the process of my acrobatic water ballet.

By then, my Bride had arrived and pulled my arm as I pulled on the wall, and I was free and out of that stinking canal muck. What a drama! My. Bride started shouting out all kinds of orders of things for me to do—get those shoes off. Take off your trousers and knickers! Get your shirt off! It was time to head for the garden house as I began peeling off bits of clothing as I went, leaving some by the water point. The clothing and I were all covered in a thick layer of black pudding-like mud. It was everywhere. I had to wash that sticky mud off my legs, arms, hip and the rest. My skin looked like a plucked goose. From the cold.

She went off to try and get the clothing pieces clean enough to take home...and I tried to find dry clothing to put on. The trouwers that I came in were there, and my green hoodie was there. I slipped on my wellies and my bee jacket and headed back to the work area...the Bride asked where I thought I was going, and I said to finish the job. She made inquiries as to my mental health, and said that she had already put the stuff away and that we would finish the project another day. My will to argue my point was lost. We packed it in and headed back for a hot shower and a cuppa.

Wet shoes, insoles and knee pads went on the heater and I washed the last of the stinky muck off...the dirty clothing went into the washing machine.

 

Oh my gosh! Thank heavens you just ended up wet and a bit sore from your "water ballet". Take care in future, please.
Tell your wife she has my admiration--I know what it is like to be so worried, scared, and aghast at what has happened to your husband. She did well to help you out of the canal, and to get you home to warm up and clean up. That is one fine lady.

 

Thanks so much for your note and good spot on comments Re Bride. I was a bit goofy when I got out and my eye was swelling quickly. Tonight it is trying to swell shut.

 

Wow,, what an accident ! Glad you are OK and clean,,again ! Would be good since you have bees to see if you can find or order some meat tenderizer made with papain ! It is made from papaya ! If you use a bit of it with a drop of water and apply it to a bee sting or any insect sting,, it neutralizes the venom ! There is also a hand sanitizer with aloe that does the same thing ! I buy it at Dollar General stores ! Stops the sting in about a minute ! I use it for wasp stings and ocassionally a bee sting ! Bees are much nicer than wasps !
Just do not get it in the eye ! Ice pack might be better for that !

 

my oh my! do take care of yourself. I agree about that stinky dirty water having bacteria in it. please be very watchful of that sting spot. take care.

 

Eileen—Thanks for your concern. The swelling is pretty bad, but not painful. My conjunctiva looks like a water balloon. Haha. I hope that I can sleep tonight. Too right about those clothes, otherwise it would have been a cold ride.

Mart—thanks for your advice too. You know, I thought I had an agreement with those bees. I told ‘em sting me where you want, just not in my eye or nose. They did not keep to the agreement. So disappointing. I shall start with an ice pack before I go to bed. Cheers again.

 

Thank you so much, Carolyn. I will do. It was an exciting experience.

 

You know, in spite of my concerns for your health and well being, I couldn't help but chuckle over your various humorous understatements!

"My leg stopped, but I did not"
"(it) went straight down and I wondered when it would stop."
"my acrobatic water ballet."
"she made inquiries as to my mental health"



I'm glad you're OK. I hope your leg and your eye are both doing better today.

 

Wow! You really know how to make an entrance! Glad you were able to salvage your dignity and make it out alive.

 

Ha ha ha Ronni—I can laugh now but on that day, I wasn’t finding anything funny at all. The next day (today)the Bride suggested that in spite of my ridiculous facial swelling, that the sting of the bee was less than the sting of my lost dignity I just told her that even if that were to be true my sore back was worse than both of those factors. Oh dear.

Yeah Mart, I have a flair for the exaggeration of garden moves it would appear.

 

Ronni is too right about what a humorous writer you are Sjoerd! I am so so sorry that happened to you and my God yes your Bride was spot on about how to handle the whole mishap (i will not injure your dignity further by calling it a catastrophe). Glad you are dry, warm, & clean & I hope your back improves soon.

 

Thanks for your kind and sympathetic comments... and for showing restraint at using the C word... or did you. Hahahahaha.
Well, never mind, it is behind me now and I seem to be on the mend.
I must have been dazed a bit by the event and I can still remember my Bride scolding that as I peeled off each layer of clothing that apparantly I tried to fold them and place them tidily for her to wring out. She finally just told me to drop them on the ground and move out of the way. Haha. She took exception that I laid the trousers on the water point as apparantly There was a lot of that black goo on the spigot and so forth. What an experience that was.