Redneck Love Collards is green, my dog's name is Blue And I'm so lucky to have a sweet thang like you. Yore hair is like corn silk a-flapping in the breeze. Softer than Blue's and without all them fleas. You move like the bass, which excite me in May. You ain't got no scales but I luv you anyway. Yo're as satisfy'n as okry jist a-fry'n in the pan. Yo're as fragrant as "snuff" right out of the can. You have some'a yore teeth, for which I am proud; I hold my head high when we're in a crowd. On special occasions, when you shave under yore arms, Well, I'm in hawg heaven, and awed by yore charms. Still them fellers at work, they all want to know, What I did to deserve such a purdy, young doe. Like a good roll of duct tape, yo're there fer yore man, To patch up life's troubles and fix what you can. Yo're as cute as a junebug a-buzzin' overhead. You ain't mean like those far ants I found in my bed. Cut from the best cloth like a plaid flannel shirt, You spark up my life more than a fresh load of dirt. When you hold me real tight like a padded gunrack, My life is complete; Ain't nuttin' I lack. Yore complexion, it's perfection, like the best vinyl sidin'. Despite all the years, yore age, it keeps hidin'. Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie with a RC cold drank, We go together like a skunk goes with stank. Some men, they buy chocolate for Valentine's Day; They git it at Wal-Mart, it's romantic that way. Some men git roses on that special day From the cooler at Kroger. That's impressive," I say. Some men buy fine diamonds from a flea market booth. "Diamonds are forever," they explain, suave and couth. But for this man, honey, these won't do. Cause yor'e too special, you sweet thang you. I got you a gift, without taste nor odor, More useful than diamonds...... IT'S A NEW TROLL'N MOTOR!!
He did get me hip boots for Christmas one year. Regina thought that was just terrible, but I really appreciated them when we went in the swamps crawfishing the next spring.
Ever the thoughtful husband Sharon!! Much better to get something useful than a gift you will never use.
That's OK, I got Dooley a new microwave oven for Valentines day. They just don't make stuff like they used to. Her old one just quit the other day. It was only 27 years old.
On the other hand, the old one cost $400, the new one, which does more was $100. If it lasts 10 years, that is only $10 a year. Good deal.
