I just want to get this off my chest........sorry

Discussion in 'The Village Square' started by EJ, Feb 26, 2007.

  1. EJ

    EJ Allotmenteer Extraordinaire

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    But, I am sick of death. Honestly, it is getting me down. In the last 12 months, I have lost several friends and acquaintences. And now another is nearing her end. It breaks my heart everytime. When dad died, I had nobody to talk about it with, and to be honest, still don't, not really, not properly, not without feeling an idiot. Now I am surrounded by it and it is driving me crazy! I know we all die, I know there is nothing we can do about it, as the saying goes, the only guarantees in life are taxes and death, but this darn cancer is so unforgiving and it steals far to many lives. A beautiful young woman is resting now, and soon she will be able to rest in peace and I feel like I wanna scream, shout, yell at someone about it, tell someone off, but I can't.

    Sorry guys. I know you will all listen and appreciate the feelings that are rushing around inside me at the moment. I am not a religious person, but I wonder if you could spare a thought for Sarah and wish her peace in whichever way you choose.

    Thank you.
     
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  3. glendann

    glendann Official Garden Angel

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    EJ I know how you feel as I have felt the same way so many many times .I myself pray as this brings comfort to me.I have hit the floor on my knee's
    so many times I would hate to count.It sounds like you need a little help for depression also.Death is a very hard thing to except as I haven't accepted it completely yet.I will pray you can find peace along with Sarah and that you can come to terms with it soon.Cancer has done a number on my family and friends also EJ.God Bless you and your Sarah.
     
  4. toni

    toni Mistress of Garden Junque Staff Member Moderator Plants Contributor

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    EJ, I know this must be a hard time for you. So many people dying around you is hard to fathom. There are so many trite comments that are made about a situation like this, so I won't say any of them.

    But know that I am holding you and Sarah in my thoughts.

    And yes you can vent, rant and rave here anytime you need to. Or you can PM me anytime you just need a shoulder, albiet a distant one, to cry on.

    Toni
     
  5. zuzu's petals

    zuzu's petals Silly Old Bat Plants Contributor

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    My heart goes out to you EJ, and of course to your dear friend Sarah
    and all those who've been fortunate to know and love her.
    All of her friends and family who will keenly feel her loss.

    And, oh how well I know the feelings you describe,
    frustration, hurt, anger, helplessness, all of it tumbled together.
    And NO, you should not try to keep all of that inside.
    It's hard enough to cope with one such event in a year's time,
    but when several losses like this happen in swift succession,
    you don't have time to heal before the new, deep wounds are opened.

    I truly hope that you can feel free to voice your thoughts here,
    knowing that we, as a community of friends love you and support you.

    As Toni has said, please know that I, too, am only a PM away.
     



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  6. Netty

    Netty Chaotic Gardener Plants Contributor

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    EJ, you are not alone. I have lost many friends and I know exactly how you feel. But I have finally learned that we need to talk about these things because if we keep it all bottled up, we will explode. I am also only a PM away. God bless your Sarah.
     
  7. Frank

    Frank GardenStew Founder Staff Member Administrator

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    My thoughts are with Sarah EJ. It can't be easy on you. Take care of yourself also.

    // Frank
     
  8. heathermt75

    heathermt75 Seedling

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    EJ.. I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. I don't know if you know who I am or not, but I am glendann's daughter.I lost my dad to throat cancer going on 9 years ago and it still hurts, but it has gotten a little better over time.3 days before my dad died, I lost my Nannie,glendann's mom. I didn't really have anyone to talk to either at that time because I felt like I had to be the strong one for the family and didn't grieve in a proper way. But I will tell you that prayer helped me make it out of a lot of bad situations. I can't tell you how many times I was close to suicide and God would step in and save me. I hate cancer SO MUCH!!! It has taken so many members of my family and friends. So if you ever need to talk, pm me anytime. I wish I would have had someone to talk to that knew what I was going through back then.
     
  9. Maggie

    Maggie New Seed

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    I lost my husband six years ago. I had to be strong for the rest of my family. When I was alone I allowed myself to grieve and pray. Is there a Minister in you community you could speak to? Most of them are pleased to help.
    Maggie
     
  10. wannabe

    wannabe Young Pine

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    EJ in the past two weeks I have lost two close friends and mt cousin's husband. It doesn't get easier with each one but prayer helps. I try to find a quiet place and talk aloud so I can at least voice my thoughts. I hope "talking" will make you feel better. Wannabe
     
  11. eileen

    eileen Resident Taxonomist Staff Member Moderator Plants Contributor

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    EJ I'm not a religious person either but I will be thinking of you and your friend Sarah at this sad time. I've PM'd you.
     
  12. cajunbelle

    cajunbelle Daylily Diva

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    There is never any need to be sorry EJ. I am keeping Sarah and you and the rest of her family and friends in my prayers. My Dad passed from cancer, it is such an insidious disease, I pray someone finds a cure.
     
  13. pondlady

    pondlady Young Pine

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    EJ, I am so sorry you and Sara are going through such pain. Her's will be over soon, but yours will endure until time lessens it. There are no magic words, nor religious things for or from me either, but sometimes knowing that death is just the other end of birth helps. And hoping your friend lived her life as hard as she knew how, used it up, is skidding into death knowing that she lived every minute she had. And wants you to do the very same thing.
     
  14. reggaefan

    reggaefan Official Poet Laureate

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    Sarah and you have my prayers
     
  15. WUVIE

    WUVIE Seedling

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    A thought for Sarah...

    Oh, EJ, I'm so sorry!

    I do not subscribe to religion, either, and am
    definitely having positive thoughts for your friend
    Sarah. I'm so very sorry for all the sadness which
    has come your way, Sarah's way.

    Know that we do care and are here if you ever
    want to talk, scream, yell, cry or anything at
    all.

    (((HUGS and compassion for all involved)))

    Karen Marie
     
  16. muddybob

    muddybob In Flower

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    I have felt so silly in the past getting angry at a thing. Cancer. But it does just make you so damn angry, doesn't it? I think we have all lost someone to this crappy disease and understand what you must be feeling now.
    I just found out that a friend finally died of his colon cancer. RIP Mr. Pemberton
    So sorry to hear about your friend too.
    It really really really stinks.

    muddy
     

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