My version: A is for Apple, and B is for Boat, That used to be right, But now it won't float! Age before beauty Is what we once said, But let's be a bit more Real instead. Now A's for arthritis; B's the bad back, C is the chest pains, Perhaps car-d-iac? D is for dental Decay and decline. E is for eyesight I can't read that top line! F is for fissures And fluid retention G is for gas Of which I won't mention. H is high blood pressure I'd rather it was low I for incisions With scars you can show. J is for joints Out of socket and won't mend K is for knees That crack when they bend. L for libido What happened to sex? M is for memory I forget what comes next. N is neuralgia In nerves way down low O is for osteo The bones that don't grow! P for prescriptions I have quite a few Just give me a pill And I'll be good as new! Q is for queasy Is it fatal or flu? R for reflux One meal turns to two. S for sleepless nights Counting my fears T for Tinnitus There's bells in my ears! U is for urinary Big troubles with flow V is for vertigo That's "dizzy," you know. W is for worry NOW what's going 'round? X is for X ray And what might be found. Y is another year I'm left here behind, Z is for zest That I still have-- in my mind. I've survived all the symptoms My body's deployed, And I've managed to keep twenty-six doctors employed!!!
