Ooops Eileen, seems like the joke is being displayed incorrctly when posted I can still make it out though. It's good
TRYING IT AGAIN. >> > ALCOHOL TROUBLESHOOTING >> > >> > >> > |--------------+-------------+--------------| >> > | SYMPTOM | FAULT | ACTION | >> > |--------------+-------------+--------------| >> > | Feet cold and| Glass being | Rotate glass | >> > | wet. | held at | so that open | >> > | | incorrect | end points | >> > | | angle. | toward | >> > | | | ceiling. | >> > |--------------+-------------+--------------| >> > | Feet warm and| Improper | Stand next to| >> > | wet. | bladder | nearest dog, | >> > | | control. | complain | >> > | | | about house | >> > | | | training. | >> > |--------------+-------------+--------------| >> > | Drink | Glass empty.| Get someone | >> > | unusually | | to buy you | >> > | pale and | | another | >> > | tasteless. | | drink. | >> > |--------------+-------------+--------------| >> > | Opposite wall| You have | Have yourself| >> > | covered with | fallen over | leashed to | >> > | fluorescent | backward. | bar. | >> > | lights. | | | >> > |--------------+-------------+--------------| >> > | Mouth | You have | See above. | >> > | contains | fallen | | >> > | cigarette | forward. | | >> > | butts. | | | >> > |--------------+-------------+--------------| >> > | Alcohol | Mouth not | Retire to | >> > | tasteless, | open, or | restroom, | >> > | front of your| glass | practice in | >> > | shirt is wet.| applied to | mirror. | >> > | | wrong part | | >> > | | of face. | | >> > |--------------+-------------+--------------| >> > | Floor | You are | Get someone | >> > | blurred. | looking | to buy you | >> > | | through | another | >> > | | bottom of | drink. | >> > | | empty glass.| | >> > |--------------+-------------+--------------| >> > | Floor moving.| You are | Find out if | >> > | | being | you are being| >> > | | carried out.| taken to | >> > | | | another bar. | >> > |--------------+-------------+--------------| >> > | Room seems | Bar has | Confirm home | >> > | unusually | closed. | address with | >> > | dark. | | bartender. | >> > |--------------+-------------+--------------| >> > | Taxi suddenly| Alcohol | Cover mouth. | >> > | takes on | consumption | | >> > | colorful | has exceeded| | >> > | aspect and | personal | | >> > | textures. | limitations.| | >> > |--------------+-------------+--------------| >> > | Everyone | You are | Fall on | >> > | looks up to | dancing on | somebody | >> > | you and | the table. | cushy-looking| >> > | smiles. | | . | >> > |--------------+-------------+--------------| >> > | Drink is | It's water. | Punch him. | >> > | crystal-clear| Somebody is | | >> > | . | trying to | | >> > | | sober you | | >> > | | up. | | >> > |--------------+-------------+--------------| >> > | Hands hurt, | You have | Apologize to | >> > | nose hurts, | been in a | everyone you | >> > | mind | fight. | see, just in | >> > | unusually | | case it was | >> > | clear. | | them. | >> > |--------------+-------------+--------------| >> > | Don't | You've | See if they | >> > | recognize | wandered | have free | >> > | anyone, don't| into the | alcohol. | >> > | recognize the| wrong party.| | >> > | room you're | | | >> > | in. | | | >> > |--------------+-------------+--------------| >> > | Your singing | The drink is| Have more | >> > | sounds | too weak. | alcohol until| >> > | distorted. | | your voice | >> > | | | improves. | >> > |--------------+-------------+--------------| >> > | Don't | Drink is | Play air | >> > | remember the | just right. | guitar. | >> > | words to the | | | >> > | song. | | | Now that's strange because it looks fine until I actually post it!! :? I can't even edit it.
