Ohio man discovers gravity defying rocks. NASA to study. An Ohio man, Mr. FB Guy, has claimed discovery of rocks that defy gravity. “I was workin’ in the garden last spring getting’ ready to plant my tamater’s you know, and I kept seein’ these rocks what kept poppin’ up outen the ground. Well, the next year I made sure I cleaned ‘em all out in the fall so’s there wouldn’t be none come spring. I even staked out a parcel like what them archeologist fellers do over to Egypt. I was plumb flabbergasted when the snow melted come May, and they was rocks all over that staked out parcel.” Mr. Guy escorted this reporter to his secret garden plot, now guarded by NASA/NSA agents. Behind a 12 foot hurricane fence, people who were presumably scientists were busy digging and screening soil. The senior agent in charge, a bossy woman named Penny, would not allow this reported any closer than the gate. I was able to observe several baskets of what appeared to be rocks being loaded into government vehicles. “I called the extension agent from OSU for some kind of reason as to why them rocks kept poppin’ up like that. He didn’t have no answer, so’s I asked him to come on down and take a looksee for hisself. I was telling ‘bout what all I’d already done, when he asked where the rocks was that I had pulled out last year. I told him, I didn’t rightly know ‘cause, they wasn’t where I tossed ‘em. That’s when he got kind of fidgety and excited like. It weren’t two days later but what I had a passel of folks with pith helmets and lab coats on, messin’ with my tamater garden. Good thing I didn’t have nothin’ planted yet.” There was indeed, a plethora of vehicular and scientific activity occurring. Some earth moving equipment was attempting to move to the garden area when Mr. Guy (he kept saying, “jist call me Fat for short”), appeared with a shotgun. “You feller’s drive that across my leach bed, and I’ll turn ‘er into scrap arn.” I stayed with Mr. FB Guy for the day. It was around 5:00 pm when the activity abated, and the guards, government types, and scientists left. They took the rocks and all of their equipment with them. Mr. Guy looked rather satisfied. Pleased if you will. When I asked why, he explained, “I’m just plain lazy, and I didn’t feel like cultivating this year. All them scientist and government types might be real smart, but they ain’t got a lick of sense.”
