<<Ark_.doc>> <<DIDTHEYMEANTHAT.pps>> The Blonde wins..... Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive double-pane energy efficient kind. But this week I got a call from the contractor complaining that his work had been completed a whole year ago and I hadn't paid for them. Boy oh boy, did we go around! Just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid. So, I proceeded to tell him just what his fast talking sales guy had told me... that in one year the windows would pay for themselves. There was silence on the other end, so I just hung up, and I haven't heard back from him. Guess I won that stupid argument! Mental Health Hotline "Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline... If you are obsessive-compulsive. press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, & 6. If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call. If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you what number to press. If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer. If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696969696. If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound key until a representative comes on the line. If you have amnesia, press 8, state your name, address, telephone number, date of birth, social security number and your mothers maiden name. If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, s-l-o-w-l-y & c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y press 0 0 0. If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. . . If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. ALL operators are too busy to talk to you. If you are menopausal, hang up, turn on the fan, lay down and cry. You won't be crazy forever. BUT If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up."
