A new airlines, "Lutran" in Duluth Minnesota announced their grand opening. Ve are pleased to tell you dat Lutran Air is now operating from Dulut Airport. Ya shure, you betcha! Dis is da latest air service to sprout up in Minnesota. Ve also serve Visconsin, Nort and Sout Dakota. I you are travelin soon, consider Lutran Air, da no-frills airline. You're all in da same boat on Lutran Air. Where flyin is an upliftin experience. Dere is no first class on any Lutran Air flight. Meals are potluck. Rows 1-6, brings rolls; Rows 7-15, bring a salad; Rows 16-21, bring a hot dish; Rows 22-30, bring a dessert; Basses and tenors please sit in da rear of da aircraft. Everyone is responsible for his or her own baggage. All fares are by free will-offering and da plane will not land til da budget is met. Pay attention now to your flight attendant, who will acquaint you wit da safety system aboard dis Lutran Air 599. Okay den, listen up you guys. I'm only gonna say dis vonce. In da event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, I am frankly goin to be real surprised and so vill Capt. Olson. Because ve fly right around two thousand feet. So loss of cabin pressure would probably mean da Second Coming or somethig of dat nature has happened.. I wouldn't bodar vith doze liddle masks on da rubber tubes. Your're gonna have bigger tings to worry about den dat. Yust stuff doze back up in dair little holes. Probably da masks fell out because of turbulence. Which to be honest wit you, we'er going to have quite a bit of dat at two thousand feet. Sort of like driving across a plowed field. But after a while you get used to it. In da event of a water landing, I'd say forget it. Ve are not equipped for such a landin. Da use of cell phones on da plane is strictly forbidden. Not because day may confuse da plane's navigation system. We fly by da seat of our pants. It's is because cell phones are a pain in da wazoo. Ve start lunch right about noon, and it's buffet style. Da coffee pot is up in da front of da plane. Den ve'll have da hymn sing: hymnals are in da seat pocket in front of you. Don't take yours wit you when you get off da plane, or I will be real upset and I am not kid din. Right now I'll say Grace; Come, Lord Jesus, be our guest and let deze gifts to us be blessed. Fadar, Son, and Holy Ghost, may we land in Dulut or pretty close, Amen!
Tooty, that is so darned funny, especially the "Right now I'll say Grace; Come, Lord Jesus, be our guest and let deze gifts to us be blessed. Fadar, Son, and Holy Ghost, may we land in Dulut or pretty close, Amen!" Sounds a bit like some of the grasshopper airlines we have here in Texas!
Glad it made you chuckle. I definitely would walk if that was the only airline available. Although the potluck meal sounds interesting.
