Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if > they aren't prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern small-town > prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly > woman to the stand. > > He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" > > She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've > known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big > disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate > people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot > when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything > more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you." > > The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he > pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense > attorney?" > > She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley > since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking > problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law > practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he > cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. > Yes, I know him." > > The defense attorney almost died. The judge asked both > counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, "If > either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to the > electric chair." >
OMG they put my mother-in-law on the stand! LOL betcha her favorite chair sat between the telephone and the window too.
