English Lesson

Discussion in 'Jokes and Games' started by Henry Johnson, Oct 3, 2012.

  1. Henry Johnson

    Henry Johnson In Flower

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    Here is another one which came to me (as most of the jokes, etc. that i post) via one of my email correspondents..

    I'm sure you will enjoy this. There is at least one word in the English language that could be a noun, verb, adj, adv, prep:

    ' UP '

    Read until the end ... you'll laugh.

    This two-letter word in English has more meanings than probably any other two-letter word, and that word is 'UP.' It is listed in the dictionary as an [adv], [prep], [adj], [n] or [v].

    It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP?

    During a conversation, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP, and why are the officers UP for election (if there is a tie, it is a toss UP) and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report?We call UP our friends, brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and fix UP the old car.

    At other times, this little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.

    To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special.

    And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is blocked UP.

    We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night. We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP!

    To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look UP the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4 of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions.

    If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with (UP to) a hundred or more.

    When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes out, we say it is clearing UP. When it rains, it soaks UP the earth. When it does not rain for awhile, things dry UP. One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP, for now . . . my time is UP!

    Oh . . . one more thing: What is the first thing you do in the morning and the last thing you do at night?

    U

    P!

    Did that one crack you UP?

    Don't mess UP.. Send this on to everyone you look UP in your address book . . . or not . . . it's UP to you.

    Now I'll shut UP...

    Hank (chuckle, chuckle)
     
    SongofJoy57 and carolyn like this.
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  3. eileen

    eileen Resident Taxonomist Staff Member Moderator Plants Contributor

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    Neither wonder folks from other countries get confused trying to learn English!! :rolleyes:
     
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  4. marlingardener

    marlingardener Happy

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    Hank, you always crack me UP!
     
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