Not sure if this is the right place to post this, (if it is not, then I won't argue if the mods decide to take it down) - But don't you guys too get frustrated from time to time? Specially when you come face to face with someone who's ill-formed notions and opinions are, well, sort of like set in cement??? So no matter what you now do, you (or the place you come from) in their opinion, can't be changed... Alright, I will admit that I myself am also partly to blame for this, as sometimes (OK - OK, a lot of times) I rally do enjoy scaring people - I mean, I'm a guy from Pakistan, said to be one of the most dangerous countries in the world!!! So their ill-formed notions and opinions work to my advantage (when I'm out to scare someone)! However, this is now getting a bit boring. Besides, I don't think it's healthy to remain a teenager for the rest of my life... So what can I now do to fix this? About this preformed image of myself that other people carry, (without even meeting me)... Fight fire with fire? Like, pretend to be an even bitter bigot perhaps?! Well, I often do that on my YouTube channel, and I will admit that I do enjoy that as well! Where I show them the mirror, by vomiting out even more poison at their own background and cultures... But somehow, at the stage where I am now in life, I think I can do better - Wishful thinking on my part perhaps? Maybe... Of course, none of this applies to you guys, as you've all known me for many years now, (and never have I been made to feel like the odd man out). I'm talking about strangers, who without even meeting me or talking to me, automatically assume that just because I'm from Pakistan, I must be: A: Will have no clue about decency, (or personal hygiene). B: Will be impossible to talk to, as I won't understand any English (yeah right). C: Will definitely enjoy oppressing and enslaving women. D: Have traveled outside only so I can set off a bomb somewhere. E: Must be a religious extremist nutcase also, (or at least will have sympathies for such people and/or groups). So what can I do to fight this??? It is however a fact that we (Pakistanis) in our own society, really look down upon religious extremists. And we actually are deeply appalled by the way some Pakistanis outside Pakistan behave. We call them "bhangee-o ki aulaad" (children of illiterate gutter cleaners), who's forefathers somehow immigrated abroad as cheap laborers - Hence their display of near total lack of class... For example, they are really stuck in time (from a 100 to 75 years ago in the past), while our society in Pakistan moved on... Like they make their women wear the Hijab, while we in the urban areas are truly repulsed by it! See this link for example: http://blogs.tribune.com.pk/story/2...y-hijab-because-society-refused-to-accept-me/ And see this picture too: I really don't know why I am writing this over here, but at times, I think everybody is looking me as if I am Mr. Borat from Kazakhstan... Of course, as I said so before, none of this applies to anyone over here, as you all have known me for many years (and have been extremely welcoming and friendly from the first day). So I am talking about total strangers... Actually what really pisses me off, is when many foreign TV channel crews come here. Upon arrival, they seem very angry at first, and they complain that they can't easily find any dirt tracks, poverty ridden places, and/or heaps of smoking garbage... So we then ask: Well, isn't that a good thing??? Shouldn't you be reporting about this fact??? However they walk away in a huff, (as if this question/suggestion was something like a very personal insult to them)! Believe it or not, but this is what I have seen with my own eyes (more then once)... https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=788140291298378
This is an intriguing subject S-H. I try to fight stereotypes almost every day, but it's a hard struggle. I'm Norwegian and I've had to face some very hard stereotype views on Norwegians in my time. For the record I don't like skiing. I'm also guilty of placing people I meet in a pre-defined box. It's such an easy way to catalogue and keep track of things, but it's an unwelcome habit. When I start thinking about it the entire society is based on stereotypes. You drive a SUV? Selfish brute. A BMW? No use for a direction indicator light then, you never use it anyway. You're German? You probably have all your ducks in a row. Italian? Oh, mob connection. Moms cook and clean. Dads read newspapers and tinker with engines. Naw, not right at all. I'm looking forward to the day when people are judged by who they are, not what they do or where they come from. By the look of things I'm never going to see that day but I live in hope.
S-H, did you see my topic ... http://www.gardenstew.com/threads/learning-about-different-cultures.36625/ ? Oh, my, your list of A - E can, to a great degree, apply to the way people think of us living the southern U.S. Even today northerners from our own country come down here to try to civilize us southern hicks/slackards/fanatics and when they can't change us to their ideal they make fun of us in other ways, they don't like our accents, politics, food, etc. For some reason, Texas takes a lot of flack from northerns. Personally I think they are jealous of our laid back lifestyle, our independent attitude and are scared to death of firearms. About 35-40 years ago we had an influx of northerners move to Texas and start complaining about every aspect of our lives...their favorite line was "that's not the way we do things up north". A bumper sticker saying "If you don't like the way we do things, take I-30 east" (I-30 being the main highway from which there are connections for them to have an easy trip back to where they came from**) became very popular and seen on many a car driven by Texans. There were other, less genteel versions of that around too. We were just sick and tired of being looked down on, made fun of and generally considered to be less than second class citizens. **And yes you can end a sentence with a preposition legally without fear of the grammar police... http://blog.oxforddictionaries.com/2011/11/grammar-myths-prepositions/
Being Scottish we are stereotyped by many other countries which I personally hate. They seem to think we all have red hair, wear kilts, play the bagpipes, dancing the sword dance and spend our lives eating haggis, stovies, porridge and clootie dumplings!! We, obviously, in their opinion, live in blackhouses or crofts in the highlands and no one can understand the Gaelic we speak. That's why I never stereotype others no matter their race or creed. We are all individuals with minds of our own and our nationality doesn't define how we live or what we wear.
Actually Eileen, the Scottish people have great respect here in Pakistan, (specially in the northern mountainous areas of Pakistan) - Of course we too are guilty of stereotyping a little, as we automatically assume that if you are from Scotland, then you must be some type of an engineer! This I guess is because under the British rule, all the waterworks, railway lines, roads, and institutional buildings (many of which are today declared as heritage sights) - Were mostly designed & build by Scottish engineers... However there is another twist to it also, which is that the English were seen as rulers (and thus perceived as unkind), but the Scottish people and we really became good friends - Probably because our northern mountainous areas of Pakistan are very similar to Scotland (only our mountains are a lot higher). So this is why an exchange of culture took place, which is why bagpipes are so popular over here in Pakistan also. See this link: http://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-20876096 In fact the bagpipe tune "Scotland the Brave" is often played by many people in the mountains of Pakistan (in remembrance of the friendship our people had in the times of the British rule). When I was young and I heard that same tune being played in this movie called The Devil's Brigade, I said: Hey, why are they playing our tune? At which everybody laughed and said: You idiot, that's actually a Scottish tune which we adopted! Seriously, I'm not a 100% sure, but I think our military's Northern Light Infantry Regiment's official tune is Scotland the Brave also (played on bagpipes)! Yes Toni I saw your topic - I was really tempted to message you that I am available, but my schedule for this month as well as the next one isn't free... Otherwise yes, I really would have taken the offer! And people being scared to death of firearms, yes, I too have seen and experienced that. So the less said about it the better, but yes, you and I are probably on the same page regarding this issue... Actually Droopy, what really is p***ing me off over here big time, are the actions of the foreign TV channels. When they visit here, they come with only one agenda, which is to find only negative stuff. What's more is that whenever they start to film, they deliberately use a yellow filter on the camera lens, (so that everything looks dusty and dirty). I made my own videos, of the Flower Show, and the one about Ship breaking also (links of which I posted over here too), and I didn't use any colored filters to give the video any tint - But whatever is broadcast by the international TV channels, always makes it a point to show my part of the world through a slightly yellow lens filter, while their own reports from their own homeland are shot through a very mild blue filter, (to make everything look extra clean). So even the shot of their gray colored sky becomes bluish, while my naturally blue colored sky is shown as dusty yellow... Why??? While other things worthy of reporting, like this news (see link below), is totally ignored, as if it did not happen at all... http://tribune.com.pk/story/1032923...n-of-pakistans-achievements-in-science-nawaz/
This is truly a universal theme. I'm a white woman in South Africa and I was a kid during apartheid but I don't think that will ever matter no matter what kind of person I am now.
Ha ! I can only imagine what they say about us Texans. I am sure everyone has heard the jokes. Like Tony said most of the snowbirds think we are stupid rednecks and lack any social skills. But just let something break down and the term "redneck" becomes a term of endearment.
But guys, do you all know something else? The absolute worst kind of stereotypedness, is what we sometimes get from our own "near & dear" ones, (specially those who are slightly older then you)... I mean, just because once upon a time they saw you in diapers, DOESN'T MEAN THAT YOU ARE STILL THAT HELPLESS LITTLE BOY 3 DECADES DOWN THE ROAD!!! Take my own elder sister for example - Every time she is around and there is stuff to unload from the car, she always screams: Don't touch it! You'll drop it! It's too heavy for you. Get someone else to carry it inside... As in her mind I am still a weak and clumsy 4 year old - Even though I am today taller and way more stronger then her! And my hands too are steady enough to have done things at an almost microscopic level (when it comes to experimenting with tiny electronics, which is actually a level of skill that only eye surgeons can match). But at the same time my arms are also strong enough to have moved heavy machinery that was easily over half a ton in weight... However I can go and climb mount K2 and return one day, but she will still not change the image she carries of me in her mind... I just can't ever win this never ending battle, can I??? I think I am now starting to understand how reformed prisoners must feel like, when they have served their time inside and are now ready to walk out of jail - However society still doesn't except them as normal citizens, (even though they have paid their debt to society in full)... So exactly like that, just because I too once (only once) accidentally dropped a carton of eggs in childhood (trying to carry it inside the house from the car) - I am now (in the eyes of my sister) forever incapable of unloading anything from the car... Of course, the fact that it is today me who loaded everything from the supermarket inside the car (without damaging anything) - Is completely overlooked every single time!
I think trying to chance people's minds is a gigantic task. What you can do is the best you can do and those who appreciate it do and the rest... well that's their loss. Sometimes this is more serious I know, as you said when you are a reformed prisoner looking for work... But carrying the burden of other people's mindsets is not good for inner peace. Do what you can, smile at the rest, and never loose hope that some action on your part will change their minds. Seeing is believing, telling them just doesn't work...
Anyone that looks, talks, dresses or acts differently is stereotyped by others. Plus pre-judged by your nationality or area you grew up in. I had no preconceived ideas about Pakistan until I joined this forum so, through your posts and video's, I see it through your eyes. What your doing may change a few peoples minds about your country.
Now that I can agree with completely - I like this! However there is a twist over here also, which is that some people (out of politeness and/or decency) don't make the effort to ask questions, or to try and clear any misunderstandings - They I guess fear that it could offend us. So they just stay silent, and thus maintain the misconceptions that they carry in their heads. Now on one hand I sometimes feel like grabbing them from both shoulders, shake them vigorously, and scream ASK D**N YOU - Ask whatever silly question you are afraid to ask, (so I can clear it up once and for all)! But if I actually started doing that in reality, then I would be labeled as a truly crazy person... So that I guess is the most unfortunate thing, when other people are too shy or afraid to openly ask... A while back my brother's friend along with his wife was passing through southern Europe. One evening they sat in an open air restaurant, while and another couple from America set next to them on a nearby table. They introduced themselves (saying that they are visiting from USA), and my brother's friend and his wife introduced themselves, saying that they too are on a holiday, and are from Pakistan. So after a brief exchange of pleasantries, and American lady out of the blue asked the Pakistani wife: Do you get beaten up by him every night??? Hearing this, the Pakistani lady sank in her seat and did her best to hold back her laughter. The American lady quickly realized that she had crossed the bounds of decency, so she said: I apologies that it come out so wrong, but this is what we have heard about you guys! Now my brother's friend who has always been a very humorous practical joker all his life, said: Yes yes, I am actually feeding my wife this good meal, so she can become fat, and thus be able to withstand more beatings from me! Hearing this, the American gentleman this time sank in his seat and now did his best to hold back his laughter! Anyway, my point of sharing this little story is that if someone doesn't ask us directly, no matter how silly or socially awkward it may seem - How will we get a chance to clear up any misunderstandings which might be secretly crawling inside their mind??? So don't be afraid to ask damn-it, ask and give us a chance to clear it up (in an equally silly way)! And this also makes a lot of sense, to continue with what I am already doing - I like this suggestion a lot also! Actually, one obstetrical that I feel I often face is - They (usually people from North America) automatically assume that just because they know so little about my part of the world and my culture, I too must be totally unaware about them and how their society functions. So every time I open my mouth, I sense that they instantly get shocked 3 times at least! First shock is that I am able to speak English exactly like they do, (which confuses them greatly). Second shock is that I am also very familiar with how western society functions - I mean, we grew up watching American TV shows, movies, and listened to their western music also. So yes, we too know all about western rock stars (as well as every scandal they had in Hollywood). And as far as TV shows are concerned, from I Love Lucy and My Favorite Martian, to AMC's Breaking Bad and the MythBusters (as well as South Park and even the Jerry Springer Show) - We have seen them all (plus everything else in between). In fact our women are just as badly addicted to daytime American soap operas as any American woman - While men are equally addicted to watching WWE Wrestling... And of course the 3rd and final shock they get is that I am also a Star Trek fan, and thus can speak a little Klingon too...
Well, not sure our TV programs helped you learned about us from the proper point of view My grandmother was a "June Cleaver" type, always wore a dress, a string of (fake) pearls and heels of sorts, they were always open toed wedges, while cleaning house so I guess some of that was real. Back in the 70s I lived in south Florida, Juno Beach and West Palm Beach to be exact. Sometimes Texans are easy to recognize by their regional accents so I would be asked if I was from Texas, when I said yes, their next question was almost always "How many horses do you have" I would usually answer "Just one and it's called a Chevy" Their second question involved the events of Nov 22, 1963 and really p***** me off.
Stereotyping people is somewhat a natural human instinct for some, for others its a taught perception from parents/relatives. Fear based thinking & grouping others just by looks alone is sad in my opinion.. it only shows a stunted growth & lack of open-mindedness. We are individuals plain & simple. You never know how well u can like someone unless you let your guard down. I get trusting another is a risk, but I choose to be the type that's open to learning. And at the same time not allowing myself to be run over by the views & opinions of others. I say " Meet me halfway".. One should never do all the work. It takes unity & teamwork to come together.
Well, we have our own TV shows too, so I know how to dial down the accuracy, and bring everything back into the realm of reality. But there is something else that I haven't mentioned before. Which is that at least 2 cousins of mine are married to Americans ladies, one of whom happens to be a Texan lady! So I too know a bit about the way Texans are seen and judged by others in the United States. All I can say is that sometimes it is really, really, really unfair, (specially when it comes to what happened on November 22 1963)... Very well said Pandookie! Very well said indeed!!! By the way, I am editing this post, as here is another picture (from yesterday), that I am uploading for all to see. Just to show how things really are over here in my city. The international media would have everything outside believe that in Pakistan women are always oppressed, and cannot even go outside their homes without a man. Nor can they dress any way they like... I mean, just because Pakistan is a Islamic nation too - Doesn't mean that we are exactly like Saudi Arabia or Iran... Anyway this is the reality, of Pakistani women regularly having fun this way on Sunday mornings. But will anyone from the outside international media show this, which is a very common sight? Of course not! They only arrive here just to dig up dirt... So this is actually the never ending up hill battle, that I often face, Sigh... Half the time people just assume that I am simply lying, (as all they know from their own media tells them otherwise). And since I am just one person, while the international media's reach is global, I naturally find it a real challenge to set things straight.
