FORREST GUMP GOES TO HEAVEN >The day finally arrived. Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is at the >Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed, and >Forrest approaches the gatekeeper. > >St. Peter said, "Well, Forrest, it is certainly good to see you. We have >heard a lot about you. I must tell you, though, that the place is filling >up fast, and we have been ministering an entrance examination for everyone. >The test is short, but you have to pass it before you can get into Heaven." > >Forrest responds, " It sure is good to be here, St. Peter, sir. But nobody >ever t! old m e about any en trance exam. I sure hope that the test ain't >too hard. Life was a big enough test as it was." > >St. Peter continued, "Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only three >questions. > >First: What two days of the week begin with the letter T? >Second: How many seconds are there in a year? >Third: What is God's first name?" > >Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns the next day and >sees St. Peter, who waves him up, and says, "Now that you have had a chance >to think the questions over, tell me your answers." > >Forrest replied, "Well, the first one -- which two days in the week begins >with the letter "T"? Shucks, that one is easy. That would be Today and >Tomor r ow." > >The Saint's eyes opened wide and he exclaimed, "Forrest, that is not what I >was thinking, but you do have a point, and I guess I did not specify, so I >will give you credit for that answer. >How about the next one?" asked St. Peter. > >"How many seconds in a year? Now that one is harder," replied Forrest, but >I thunk and thunk about that, and I guess the only answer can be twelve." > >Astounded, St. Peter said, "Twelve? Twelve? Forrest, how in Heaven's name >could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?" > >Forrest replied, "Shucks, there's got to be twelve: >January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd.... " "Hold it," interrupts St. Peter. >"I see where you are going with this, and I see your point, though that was >not quite what I had in mind.....but I will have to give you credit for >that one, too. >Let us go on with the third and final question. Can you tell me God's first >name"? > >"Sure," Forrest replied, "it's Andy." > >"Andy?" exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St Peter. > >"Ok, I can understand how you came up with your answers to my first two >questions, but just how in the world did you come up with the name Andy as >the first name of God?" > >"Shucks, that was the easiest one of all," Forrest replied. "I learnt it >from the song . > > > >"ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME, >ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN. . " > >St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates, and said: >"Run Forrest, run."
