Blonde in the everglades... A young blonde woman was driving through the Florida Everglades while on vacation. She wanted to take home a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the young Blonde declared, "Well then, maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator and get a pair of shoes for free!" The shopkeeper said with a sly smile, "Well little lady, why don't you go on and give it a try?" The blonde headed offto the swamp, determined to catch an alligator. Later in the day, as the shopkeeper is driving home, he spots the same young woman standing waist deep in the murky water, shotgun in hand. As he brings his car to a stop, he sees a huge 9-foot gator swimming rapidly toward her. With lightning reflexes, the Blonde takes aim, shoots the creature and hauls it up onto the slippery bank. Nearby were 7 more dead gators, all lying belly up. The shopkeeper stood on the bank, watching in silent amazement. The blonde struggles mightily and manages to flip the gator onto its back. Rolling her eyes heavenward, she screams in frustration, "CRAP! THIS ONE'S BAREFOOT, TOO!"
A trucker breaks down about 30 miles from San Diego, he flags down a convertible. The blonde headed girl driver asks, Do you need help? The trucker says no, I can fix the truck, but it's going to take me several hours. I have two chimps that are supposed to be at the zoo. Could you take them to the zoo for me. I'll give you $100 if you will take them. She says ok. They set the chimps in the back seat and strap them in. At 4 pm that afternoon, he finally makes it to San Diego. As he drives down the street, he see's the blonde walking with the two chimps. She is holding on to there hands. He says I thought you were taking them to the zoo? I did, but we had some money left over so now we are going to Sea World!
