How come I'm not skinny?

Discussion in 'Jokes and Games' started by toni, Aug 21, 2007.

  1. toni

    toni Mistress of Garden Junque Staff Member Moderator Plants Contributor

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    How To Lose That Extra Weight!

    Here's the guide to calorie-burning activities, and the
    number of calories per hour they consume.

    Beating around the bush. . . . . . . . .75
    Jumping to conclusions . . . . . . 100
    Climbing the walls . . . . . . . . . . 150
    Swallowing your pride. . . . . . . . . .50
    Passing the buck . . . . . . . . . . .25
    Throwing your weight around
    (depending on your weight). . . .50-300
    Dragging your heels. . . . . . . . . . 100
    Pushing your luck. . . . . . . . . . 250
    Making mountains out of molehills. . 500
    Hitting the nail on the head . . . . . 50
    Wading through paperwork . . . . . . . 300
    Bending over backwards . . . . . . . . 75
    Jumping on the bandwagon . . . . . 200
    Balancing the books. . . . . . . . . . 25
    Running around in circles. . . . . . . 350
    Eating crow. . . . . . . . . . . . . 225
    Tooting your own horn. . . . . . . . 25
    Climbing the ladder of success . . . . 750
    Pulling out the stops. . . . . . . . . .75
    Adding fuel to the fire. . . . . . . . 160
    Wrapping it up at the day's end. . . .12
    Opening a can of worms . . . . . . . . 50
    Putting your foot in your mouth. . . . 300
    Covering your tracks . . . . . . . . . 165
    Starting the ball rolling. . . . . .90
    Going over the edge. . . . . . . . . . 25
    Picking up the pieces after. . . . . . 350
    Counting eggs before they hatch. . . . . 6
    Cracking a smile . . . . . . . . . .35
    Calling it quits . . . . . . . . . . . . 2
     
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  3. Droopy

    Droopy Slug Slaughterer Plants Contributor

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    :smt043 Oh, my! I had to share this with my husband. He laughed so hard he woke the girls up.
     
  4. Netty

    Netty Chaotic Gardener Plants Contributor

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    Too funny Toni!
     
  5. eileen

    eileen Resident Taxonomist Staff Member Moderator Plants Contributor

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    Absolutely brilliant Toni and hilarious too!!!! :D :D :D
     
  6. Primsong

    Primsong Young Pine

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    Especially when you consider putting your foot in your mouth is worth 300, and I do that all the time! :-D Too funny.
     

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