How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb? 1. Australian Shepherd: "First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle..." 2. Border Collie: "Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code." 3. Boxer: "Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark." 4. Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb. Or "We don't need no stinking light bulb." 5. Cocker Spaniel: "Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark." 6. Dachshund: "You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!" 7. German Shepherd: "I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation." 8. Golden Retriever: "The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?" 9. Greyhound: "It isn't moving. Who cares?" 10. Jack Russell Terrier: "I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture." 11. Lab: "Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!" 12. Old English Sheep Dog: "Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb!" 13. Poodle: "I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry." 14. Rottweiler: "Make me." How many cats does it take to change a light bulb? Cats do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the real question is: "How long will it be before I can expect some light, some dinner, and a massage?" ALL OF WHICH PROVES, ONCE AGAIN, THAT WHILE DOGS HAVE MASTERS, CATS HAVE STAFF!
