How to get your own back.

Discussion in 'Jokes and Games' started by eileen, Feb 4, 2006.

  1. eileen

    eileen Resident Taxonomist Staff Member Moderator Plants Contributor

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    My friend in Holland sent this to me via e.mail. You know, I might just try one or two of these ideas for myself. :D





    Tips for Handling Telemarketers

    Three Little Words That Work !
    The three little words are: "Hold On Please..."
    Saying this, while putting down your phone and walking off (instead
    of hanging-up immediately) would make each telemarketing call so much
    more time-consuming that boiler room sales would grind to a halt.
    Then when you eventually hear the phone company's "beep-beep-beep"
    tone, you know it's time to go back and hang up your handset, which has
    efficiently completed its task.

    These three little words will help eliminate telephone soliciting.

    Machine generated phone calls.

    Do you ever get those annoying phone calls with no one on the other
    end?
    This is a telemarketing technique where a machine makes phone calls
    and records the time of day when a person answers the phone. This technique
    is used to determine the best time of day for a "real" sales person to
    call back and get someone at home.

    What you can do after answering, if you notice there is no one there,
    is to immediately start hitting your # button on the phone, 6 or 7 times,
    as quickly as possible This confuses the machine that dialled the call and
    it kicks your number out of their system.

    Gosh, what a shame not to have your name in their system any longer!!!

    Junk Mail Help:

    When you get "ads" enclosed with your phone or utility bill, return
    these "ads" with your payment. Let the sending companies throw their own junk
    mail away.

    When you get those "pre-approved" letters in the mail for everything
    from credit cards to 2nd mortgages and similar type junk, do not throw away
    the return envelope.

    Most of these come with postage-paid return envelopes, right? It
    costs them more than the regular 24p postage "IF" and when they receive them
    back.
    It costs them nothing if you throw them away!
    The postage was around 29p before the last increase and it is according to the weight.
    In that case, why not get rid of some of your other junk mail and put
    it in their postage-paid return envelopes.
    For example; send an ad for your local chimney cleaner to American
    Express.
    Send a pizza coupon to Citibank.
    If you didn't get anything else that day, then just send them their blank application back!
    If you want to remain anonymous, just make sure your name isn't on anything you send them.
    You can even send the envelope back empty if you want to just to keep them
    guessing!
    It still costs them 24p.
    The banks and credit card companies are currently getting a lot of
    their own junk back in the mail, but folks, we need to OVERWHELM them. Let's
    let them know what it's like to get lots of junk mail, and best of all
    they're paying for it...Twice!

    Let's help keep our postal service busy since they are saying that
    e-mail is cutting into their business profits, and that's why they need to
    increase postage costs again. You get the idea ?

    If enough people follow these tips, it will work !
     
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  3. i love bugs

    i love bugs The Weatherman of Craggy Island

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    Eileen , this is article is brilliant :D We try to recycle most things here but you have given me some great ideas which appeal to my sense of humour . will definatly give them a try. Anyone got anymore ideas.
    8) Bugs
     

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