Two friends, John & Jerry were on vacation in the isles of Fiji. While there they decided to go out fishing since hearing of the many great fishing spots. They rented a boat and left before sunrise. The sun was now shining directly down on their heads. They realized that they'd been out at sea for nearly 4 hrs. Jerry turns around and says, " So much for the great fishing spot! I think I'm ready to head in!" John replies, "well, let's just try casting over there", as he pointed east of where they were. Jerry agrees and not long after they started hauling in loads and loads of fish. Jerry with a glee in his face shouts out to John, "this is the best fishing spot ever!" I know, says John we should definitely mark this place. Jerry: don't worry I'll mark it down. As they headed back to shore, John asks Jerry what did he put out there as to mark their fishing spot. Jerry answers: Well I marked the side of the boat! Right here, see, a red cross! John with a surprised look turns to his friend and says, "that is the dumbest thing I've ever heard! What if we don't get the same boat tomorrow"! BEST OUT-OF-OFFICE E-MAIL REPLIES 1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood. 2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all. 3. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from vacation on September 30th. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received. 4. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $10.99 for the first ten words and $5.99 for each additional word in your message. 5. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over). 6. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks. 7. I've run away to join a different circus.
Anyone know how long you can leave a turkey in a freezer ?, ours is three stars I put it in just before Christmas and it was dead 15 mins later, I thought they kept for months Bugs
Last year I bought four turkeys at Thanksgiving and used the last one in August. So, they or at least one kept for 8 months. I think six months is about what the book says. The one that came with my freezer. Frost is a killer when you keep them too long. But your's should have been okay. Dooley
Ha, ha. Very good. and speaking of Christmas. Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. "In honor of this holy season," Saint Peter said, "you must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven." The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. "It represents a candle," he said. "You may pass through the pearly gates," Saint Peter said. The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells." Saint Peter said, "You may pass through the pearly gates." The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's glasses. St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?" The man replied, "They're Carol's."
