This is a true story...(Arthur Yates & Co is a long established nursery in Australia.) Gardeners are such gentle people. Even when they write to complain about something they do so in the nicest possible way and, as the following letter shows, sometimes with a great deal of good humour. This letter was received by Arthur Yates & Co., and the reply sent, some years ago. Dear Mr Yates, I bought a packet of your 'Sweet One Hundred' tomato seeds about six weeks ago, but inasmuch as my trips to town are fairly infrequent, I have only now been able to write to you concerning them. My purpose in writing is to express my deep and heartfelt appreciation of the way in which you take such scrupulous care of the seeds. No hurried screw of brown paper this! The seeds were not even cast loose into the colourful yet quietly tasteful envelope in which you market your product, fine though the envelope may be. No indeed! No less than a scaled, airtight silver foil packet was provided inside, making quite certain that nothing untoward could possibly befall the seeds between your establishment and mine. All this expresses to me quite clearly your deep concern and anxiety for their well being and my satisfaction, for which I am most grateful in these days of slapdash, catchpenny business practices. I am sure you will be happy to know, therefore, that the six seeds arrived in perfect safety. For the price, I doubt if this can be beaten anywhere in the world. The four seeds that I planted germinated to perfection and I am informed that the other two, one of which I exchanged for a barely used Pentax camera, and the other of which I was able to use to discharge an outstanding blood debt, also did well. You may rest assured, sir, that as soon as an expected inheritance materialises, I shall most certainly buy another packet from you. In the meantime, and before I close, may I ask you to give me a quotation on a cabbage seed, since I am anxious to expand my vegetable garden. Yours most sincerely, A. Customer Such a well thought out letter of complaint deserved a personal and considered response. It got it. Dear Mr Customer, As Mr Yates, our Managing Director, is overseas at the moment I have been asked to reply to your recent letter concerning a packet of 'Sweet One Hundred' tomato seed you had the good fortune to acquire from us. As the stated contents totalled six seeds, which is three more than normal, I inspected our Manufacturing Department which is staffed by four little old ladies, three large old men and one self acknowledged transvestite, to ask why we were being wildly uneconomic in our packaging procedures. I have to inform you, on information received, that the accused packet was the last of a run of 25,000 packets for which Our Production Department had provided 75,003 seeds. The departmental manager, who was previously employed as a Don at Balliol College, Oxford, England, before his department was closed due to the African uprisings, gave permission to pack the extra seeds in the last pack of the run. As you have already exchanged two of the extra seeds for articles or services of reasonable value I cannot ask you to return the stock but I would be happy to receive in exchange the barely used Pentax camera, providing it contains an unused colour film to compensate this company for the other seed that has been planted. In reply to your request for a quote on a cabbage seed I have pleasure to enclose herewith one seed of 'Cape Horn' hybrid variety which I would ask you to return after inspection. Should you then wish to obtain a seed for sowing I will ascertain from our Company Secretary if we have one to spare, and work out a price, including registered postage. Yours most faithfully A. Manager P.S. By the way, out of millions of packets we fill each year we do occasionally get what we term a packet miss. Several packets enclosed with my compliments.
I love it! In an era of "cover your buns" company overcaution, it's so good to read of one with a sense of humor!
Customer complaints... :-D Love it! Oh, how I wish I could have come up with a creative response to one of my customers a few years back. In corresponding to the customer, I mentioned that I would like to send her a bonus package, asking her to suggest something she might like. She did. When it came time to ship, I found the item she mentioned was out of stock, so I chose a similar (but different color) item. Remember, this was a gesture of kindness on my part, not obligatory. She not only complained, but made nasty comments on a public forum.
Good grief it was a bonus package!!!! She should have been grateful she got anything at all and she should never have aired her feelings on a public forum. I'd have stopped trading with a person like that. :-x
Wonderfully creative - I'm sure the folks working there enjoyed that "complaint" more than many compliments. So sorry you had to deal with such an ungrateful person, wuvie. Attitudes like that are so frustrating.
