On The Porch

Discussion in 'Jokes and Games' started by Henry Johnson, May 3, 2015.

  1. Henry Johnson

    Henry Johnson In Flower

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    ON THE PORCH




    On the first day, God created the dog and said,

    "Sit all day by the door of your house

    and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past.

    For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years."

    The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking.

    How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?"

    And God saw it was good.

    On the second day, God created the monkey and said,

    "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh.

    For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span."

    The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for twenty years?

    That's a pretty long time to perform.

    How about I give you back ten like the dog did?"

    And God again saw it was good.

    On the third day, God created the cow and said,

    "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and

    suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family.

    For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years."

    The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years.

    How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"

    And God agreed it was good.

    On the fourth day, God created humans and said,

    "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life.

    For this, I'll give you twenty years."

    But the human said, "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty,

    the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back,

    and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"

    "Okay," said God, "You asked for it."

    So that is why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves.

    For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our family.

    For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren.

    And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

    Life has now been explained to you.

    There is no need to thank me for this valuable information.

    I'm doing it as a public service.

    If you are looking for me I will be ON THE PORCH......
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Love to all, Hank....
     
  2. Netty

    Netty Chaotic Gardener Plants Contributor

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    Awwww, that is a good one Hank!
     
  3. eileen

    eileen Resident Taxonomist Staff Member Moderator Plants Contributor

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    I had to miss out the monkey one as I don't have grandchildren so I skipped ahead to the porch and barking at everyone!! I really enjoyed that Hank.
     
  4. Ms kitty 01

    Ms kitty 01 In Flower

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    I like that one, it's a good one.
     
  5. Donna S

    Donna S Hardy Maple

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    Thanks Hank. You will find me on the porch, probably barking at the moon.
     

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