Well, here we go! Still no date set, but we've begun talking about a wedding, and what it's going to look like, and our particular preferences for it. I need input!! We know we don't want anything formal and we don't want to spend much money. We want to be able to invite all our friends (and between us we have a lot...I've started to work on the list.) We're back and forth about having the ceremony and the reception in the same place with everyone in attendance, vs having a private ceremony with just our kids/grandkids in attendance, and then having a big reception after. There are pros and cons to each. He doesn't have a preference as long as family is there. I'd prefer to have a public ceremony but then I get all caught up in the attendants, trying to balance out bridesmaids and groomsmen, not wanting to offend anyone, all that. Ugh. As I said, I don't want anything formal. That includes clothing. If I have attendants, all I care about is color coordination e.g. the dresses all being the same color and the men having same color ties, or scarves, or shirts as the dresses. If there even are attendants! There is so much to think about. Please please help me out! Share your ideas, suggestions, pros and cons.
You mention not formal, then proceed to describe formal all the way. One of the easiest, least formal and simplest would be to elope and have a big party later.....the other is have the clergy or Justice of the Peace come to your home and be married in front of immediate family. Then in a few days have a large party to celebrate the occasion with friends and not so close family. I have had both types of wedding and frankly the justice of the peace style was way less stressful and a lot more fun than any kind of formal plan.
rather than hire a DJ use an a phone/tablet. download all the songs you want, at first it should play your "dinner playlist" after dinner let the guests pick songs from your list.
Seriously??? I'll have to think about that. Do you mean because of attendants? I've always figured that it's the way they're dressed rather than the fact of them that connotes formality. Like having the men in jeans and white shirts with a yellow tie, and the women in jeans and that same color yellow top is pretty informal imho. I mean, that's kind of the way my thinking is going, in terms of attendants if I have any. Not arguing, just trying to sort it out...
you can't wear jeans when you're going to something called a "ceremony" and "reception" if you want informal, you need to have something like a backyard wedding. and even then the natural tendency will be to put on the dress shoes. tie optional? ya ok, jeans!? no way.
To me an informal wedding is having a couple of friends 'stand up with you' in front of a preacher or JP, but not attendants for him and her who are wearing color coordinated clothes. But I guess that's just the country kid in me coming out.
A small private ceremony with just close friends and relatives sounds a good option, with a big party afterwards Alternatively you could go on holiday (just you two) and get married on a nice beach somewhere and have a big party when you get back.
Toni, we actually talked about a combination of both the things you mentioned. Not an elopement, but a justice of the peace with just our family for the ceremony, and the big party after. We have a very large circle of friends and family and we both are adamant that we want a large celebration with everyone, hence the idea of if we're getting everyone together anyway, why not have the ceremony with everyone too? And that's when the attendants thing started to be discussed. I have at least two friends who are DJs who will donate their time in lieu of a wedding gift. This works for us!
Ronni it's your day and Ron's so do what you both agree would be the perfect wedding for you both. Whether you want a big, formal or small, informal day is absolutely your choice. Don't be influenced by anyone else just go for what you both feel is right to make the day perfect for you both.
plus Ronni sounds overwhelmingly reasonable, saying : " don't want anything formal and we don't want to spend much money. " well, that's settled. in your first post you say "we don't want to spend much money." and now you lay down this boom shell that you have alot of friends and family and want EVERYONE there. maybe if you say " NO KIDS ALLOWED" ( for the party ) you'll end up with a far more reasonable list of people? something to think about... from a young parent's perspective, this " no kids allowed " rule, is just good sense, weddings are a gr8 place to let loose and not have to worry about the kids for 1 night.
What about an outdoor reception under a big tent? And a barbeque? And a big ole bonfire at night? With a few kegs of beer? Maybe even make the sides be potluck? Or is that in really bad taste? Kids can add a lot of fun to a wedding.
ya.... until its bedtime, and they are jumping off the walls! you might get some heat from some people, but by 9:30PM these parents will be drunk having a good time, and very thankful they took the trouble to get a babysitter.
I decided to do a quick guest list because I had so many people swirling around in my head that I knew I wanted to invite to my wedding, (that really big, fun, informal celebration!!) but no actual, realistic idea of how many guests that would end up being. So that "couple of friends" concept would nothing but a vagueness. Well. My initial list...of immediate family and extended family, (that would be my kids, grand kids, inlaws, nieces and nephews etc.,) and the friends I really wanted to be there, totaled 97 adults and their 20 children (10 or under...the older grands and friends' kids are on the main list! ) That doesn't include Ron's kids or grandkids, extended family, friends. Just mine. If I add his in, just the ones I know about, his family and his good friends, add at LEAST another 30 people, (and I'm sure there's more, I'm just including the ones I know about) that brings the total of adults to almost 130, and kids to 24. So round it out to around 150+ guests. So then I went to the other extreme. For both of us, just immediate family and some extended family, (that would be our kids and grandkids, some nieces and nephews we're close to, and a couple of in law types) several people and their plus ones who are family of the heart, and the list is still at 57 people and their 10 kids! GAH!!!!! Lawd Amighty!!!! Ok, let's try this. Just my and Ron's kids, several spouses/plus ones, and our grandkids, and the grandparents of the three who lost their Mom. STILL 39 PEOPLE. Between us we have a LOT of kids and grandkids!!!! OK my head's reeling now. I need to lie down.
lol yup, Good luck @Ronni my GF ends up with over 100 people on the guest list as well. I tell her it OK not to invite people you haven't seen in years -_- she says " not everyone will come, I don't want to offend anyone by not inviting them" other points of friction are the need for a Limo the and DJ... I continue to use every trick in the book to delay the wedding, however, I feel I can no longer delay the engagement ring...
