Shopping Together

Discussion in 'Jokes and Games' started by Sjoerd, Aug 30, 2008.

  1. Sjoerd

    Sjoerd Mighty Oak

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    Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or boyfriend along shopping.

    This letter was recently sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in Oxford:

    Dear Mrs. Murray,

    While we thank you for your valued customer and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.

    Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras:

    1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking.

    2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

    3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine products aisle.

    4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares.. ... and watched what happened.

    5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

    6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a gas stove.

    7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he began to cry and asked, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

    8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror and combed his hair...for 40 minutes.

    9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants were.

    10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

    11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practiced the 'Madonna look' using different size funnels.

    12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled 'PICK ME!' 'PICK ME!'

    13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed the fetal position and screamed 'NO! NO! It's those voices again.'

    And; last, but not least:

    14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, 'There is no toilet paper in here.'

    Yours sincerely,

    Charles Brown
    Store Manager
     
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  3. eileen

    eileen Resident Taxonomist Staff Member Moderator Plants Contributor

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    Oh there are times that I, never mind my husband, would love to do some of those things!!!!! :D :D :D
     
  4. Droopy

    Droopy Slug Slaughterer Plants Contributor

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    :D Poor chap, must have been dreadfully bored.
     
  5. Peppersage

    Peppersage In Flower

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    That would be better than having to pick one blue dress over the other, then nobody gets either one any way.
     



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  6. Netty

    Netty Chaotic Gardener Plants Contributor

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    :D Too funny! :D
     
  7. gardengater

    gardengater Young Pine

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    Shopping

    My day's better already. I know when to shop alone. :setf_016:
    Gardengater
     
  8. EJ

    EJ Allotmenteer Extraordinaire

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    HAHAHA. Very good Sjoerd. Unfortunately, that is very close to the truth when I take Mark shopping, he totally embaresses me, so I don't take him if I can help it anymore.
     
  9. Sjoerd

    Sjoerd Mighty Oak

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    ROARRRRRRRR.... that's funny, EJ. :)
    In fact, it's better than the joke I posted.
     
  10. Peppersage

    Peppersage In Flower

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    ha ha ha ej, well that's the plan, be so outrageous, no one would ever take you shopping. Maybe the guy just cracked.
     
  11. playtime8978

    playtime8978 In Flower

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    oh my word, I showed this to my husband and it gave him ideas :rolleyes: thank you for giving me and my hubby a good belly laugh, The first one on the list he has actually said he was going to do numerous times in the supermarket as well as deposting other embarrassing items , instead so far all he has done is take items he wants out of other peoples trolleys, the list includes reduced price smoothies and chicken to bread rolls we forgot to get at the start of the shop! one things for sure my hubby keeps me smiling
     
  12. Sjoerd

    Sjoerd Mighty Oak

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    chuckle...sounds like you guys have alot of fun.
     
  13. SongofJoy57

    SongofJoy57 In Flower

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    LOL . . . too funny! :D
     
  14. glendann

    glendann Official Garden Angel

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    ROFL.The last one was soooo funny.I could imagine the sales peoples faces and the customers. :D
     

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