Pinched this from another forum 'cause I thought it was soooo funny!!! I love the first one! UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE Bamber Gascoigne: What was Ghandi's first name? Contestant: Goosey, Goosey? THE WEAKEST LINK Anne Robinson: In traffic, what "J" is where two roads meet? Contestant: Jool carriageway. Anne Robinson: Which Italian city is overlooked by Vesuvius? Contestant: Bombay. Anne Robinson: What insect is commonly found hovering above lakes? Contestant: Crocodiles. Anne Robinson: Wh...? Contestant (interrupting): Pass! Anne Robinson: In olden times, what were minstrels, travelling entertainers or chocolate salesmen? Contestant: Chocolate salesmen. Anne Robinson: The Bible, the New Testament. The Four Gospels were written by Matthew, Mark, Luke and...? Contestant: (long pause) Joe? Anne Robinson: Who was a famous Indian leader, whose name begins with G, revered by millions, who was assassinated and received a state funeral? Contestant: Geronimo! NATIONAL LOTTERY JET SET Eamonn Holmes: What's the name of the playwright commonly known by the initials G.B.S.? Contestant: William Shakespeare. CHRIS SEARLE SHOW, BBC BRISTOL Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna? Caller: Japan. Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again. Caller: Er... Mexico? FAMILY FORTUNES 1) Something a blind man might use? - A Sword 2) A song with the word Moon in the title? - Blue Suede Moon 3) Name the capital of France? - F 4) Name a bird with a long Neck? - Naomi Campbell 5) Name an occupation where you might need a torch? - A burglar 6) Where is the Taj Mahal? - Opposite the Dental Hospital 7) What is Hitler's first name? - Heil 8) A famous Scotsman? - Jock 9) Some famous brothers? - Bonnie and Clyde. 10) A dangerous race? - The Arabs 11) Something that floats in a bath? - Water 12) An item of clothing worn by the Three Musketeers? - A horse 13) Something you wear on a beach? - A deckchair 14) A famous Royal? - Mail 15) Something that flies that doesn't have an engine? - A bicycle with wings 16) A famous bridge? - The Bridge Over Troubled Waters 17) Something a cat does? - Goes to the toilet 18) Something you do in the bathroom? - Decorate 19) A method of securing your home? - Put the kettle on 20) Something associated with pigs? - The Police 21) A sign of the Zodiac? - April 22) Something people might be allergic to? - Skiing 23) Something you do before you go to bed? - Sleep 24) Something you put on walls? - A roof 25) Something slippery? - A conman 26) A kind of ache? - A fillet of fish 27) A jacket potato topping? - Jam 28) A food that can be brown or white? - A potato 29) Something sold by gypsies? - Bananas 30) Something red? - My sweater RADIO LINCS PHONE-IN Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world? Contestant: Barcelona. Presenter: I was really after the name of a country. Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain. STEVE WRIGHT SHOW, RADIO 2 Wright: On which continent would you find the River Danube? Contestant: India. Wright: What is the Italian word for motorway? Contestant: Espresso. Wright: What is the capital of Australia? And it's not Sydney. Contestant: Sydney. THIS MORNING Judy Finnegan: The American TV show 'The Sopranos' is about opera. True or false? Contestant: True? Judy Finnegan: No, actually, it's about the Mafia. But it is an American TV show,so I'll give you that. BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE Paul Wappat: How long did the Six Day War between Egypt and Israel last? Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days. BOB HOPE BIRTHDAY QUIZ, LBC Presenter: Bob Hope was the fifth of how many sons? Contestant: Four BBC GMR, PHIL WOOD SHOW Wood: What "K" could be described as the Islamic Bible? Contestant: Er... Wood: It's got two syllables... Kor... Contestant: Blimey? Wood: Ha ha ha ha no. The past participle of run... Contestant: (Silence) Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I... Contestant: Walked? DARYL'S DRIVETIME, VIRGIN RADIO Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels? Contestant: Holland? Daryl Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet. Contestant: Iceland? Ireland? Daryl Denham (helpfully): It's a bad line. Did you say Israel? Contestant: No.
