In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods. On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping. (That's the only time I have to work on my hair.) ==================================== On a bag of Doritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?) =========================== On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be???....) ============================ On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's just a suggestion.) ======================== On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh!) ========================== On Marks &Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????...) ======================= On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me time?) ============================== On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.) =========================== On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (...I'm taking this because???....) ============================== On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to what?) ========================== On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.) ============================== On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash) ========================== On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: says what?) =========================== On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.) ======================== On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (Oh my ..were there a lot of people actually doing this somewhere?)
