Install a "Texas" wireless security system in four easy steps: 1. Go to a second-hand store, buy a pair of used men's work boots, a really big pair. 2. Place boots outside your front door on top of a copy of Guns and Ammo magazine. 3. Place the largest dog dish you can find out there beside those items. 4. Leave a note on your front door that says something like: "Bubba - use your key. Big Mike and me, we went to get more ammo and pick up Cletus. Back in 15 min. Don't disturb the Pit Bulls, they just been wormed.
