I actually remember some of these!! Crack Found on Governor's Daughter [Imagine that!] Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says [No, really?] Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers [Now that's taking things a bit far!] Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over [What a guy!] Miners Refuse to Work after Death [No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so!] Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant [See if that works any better than a fair trial!] War Dims Hope for Peace [I can see where it might have that effect!] If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a while [You think?] Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures [Who would have thought!] Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide [They may be on to something!] Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges [You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?] Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge [he probably IS the battery charge!] New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group [Weren't they fat enough?!] Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft [That's what he gets for eating those beans!] Kids Make Nutritious Snacks [Taste like chicken?] Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half [Chainsaw Massacre all over again!] Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors [Boy, are they tall!] And the winner is.... Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Eileen that is totally hilarious. And to think that those headlines are read by impressionable young ones too.
"A luxury cruise to Mexico turns into a stomach-churning nightmare" A teaser that just played while I was posting that. Was it the water or too many refried beans, I wonder?
That is beyond funny. I will refer to this page when I think I have said the dumbest thing possible. I don't think I can top any of these.