Welfare claims

Discussion in 'Jokes and Games' started by eileen, Jun 30, 2006.

  1. eileen

    eileen Resident Taxonomist Staff Member Moderator Plants Contributor

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    Welfare Application forms.


    For those unfamiliar, Welfare payments are made in the U.S. to individuals and families with income below a certain level. The following quotations are taken from actual letters received by the Welfare Department in applications for support of receiving payments.

    - I am forwarding my marriage certificate and 6 children. I had seven but one died which was baptized on a half sheet of paper.

    - I am writing the welfare department to say that my baby was born two years old. When do I get my money?

    - Mrs. Jones has not had any clothes for two years and has been visited regularly by the clergy.

    - I cannot get sick pay. I have six children can you tell me why?

    - I am glad to report that my husband who is missing is dead.

    - This is my eighth child. What are you going to do about it.

    - Please find for if my husband is dead. The man I am now living with can't do anything until he knows.

    - I am very much annoyed to find out that you have branded my son illiterate. This is a dirty lie as I was married a week before he was born.

    - In answer to your letter, I have given birth to a son weighing 10 lbs. I hope this is satisfactory.

    - I am forwarding my marriage certificate and my 3 children one of which is a mistake as you can see.

    - My husband got his project cut off about two weeks ago and I haven't had any relief since.

    - Unless I get my husband's money pretty soon, I will be forced to lead an immortal life.

    - You have my changed little boy to a girl, will this make any difference?

    - I have no children yet, as my husband is a truck driver and works night and day.

    - I want money as quick as I can get it. I have been in bed with the doctor for two weeks and he doesn't do me any good. If things don't improve, I will have to send for another doctor.

    - In accordance with your instructions, I have given birth to twins in the enclosed envelope.
     
  2. Pinkiered

    Pinkiered The Rose Queen

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    ROTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh man! Some peoples kids! Thanks for that Eileen! I needed a good laugh! :D :D
     
  3. glendann

    glendann Official Garden Angel

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    You have to live in the U.S.A. to appreciate this one .LOL
     
  4. Primsong

    Primsong Young Pine

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    - In accordance with your instructions, I have given birth to twins in the enclosed envelope. - The sentence structure for this one was especially good :-D Haha! Thanks!
     

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