Wife 1.x

Discussion in 'Jokes and Games' started by redrose, Feb 18, 2008.

  1. redrose

    redrose Seedling

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    Dear Tech Support:

    Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.X. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.X installed itself into all other
    programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racin' R/C 4.6, I can't seem to keep Wife 1.X in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. Wife constantly Pops Up making odd quacking sounds over anything I'm doing and annoys me with things that it wants me to do, places it wants me to go or products it wants me to buy. I've turned my speakers down to the point that I can't hear the racket but still I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0. Will the complete uninstall work on Wife 1.X. Please help!

    Thanks,
    A Troubled User.

    REPLY:

    Dear Troubled User:

    This is a very common problem that men complain about.

    Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.X, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.X is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.X and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or
    purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.X is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.X manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife 1.X and work on improving the situation. The alternative is a complete reformat that causes most Men to lose everything and start over. Your system would have to be completely hosed to warrant such a drastic remedy and even then you will end up reinstalling the latest version of Wife 1.x and probably end up hosed again before it's over.

    I suggest installing this workaround application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation. The best long term course of action is to click Start-Run and enter the command C:\SystemRestore\Apologize32.exe because ultimately you will have to execute the Apologize32 process before the system will return to normal anyway. This command should be run repeatedly until system is restored. If your system says "Apologize32.exe File Not Found" you should check your path statement first and make sure you haven't copied it over to some archive folder. Otherwise, you better hope you haven't emptied the recycle bin, because this is one thing you can never afford to permanently delete.

    Wife 1.X is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.X comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.X is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !

    WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt and Thong 6.9. This application is not supported by Wife 1.X and the conflicts will cause irreversible damage to your entire operating system.

    Best of luck,
    Tech Support
     
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  3. Droopy

    Droopy Slug Slaughterer Plants Contributor

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    :D Poor chap, got more than he bargained for.
     
  4. eileen

    eileen Resident Taxonomist Staff Member Moderator Plants Contributor

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    That was sooooo funny!! Thanks Redrose
     
  5. glendann

    glendann Official Garden Angel

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    That is so hilarious.Thanks for the wonderful laugh this morning.
     



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  6. Primsong

    Primsong Young Pine

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    LOL! I'm trying to decide if I should show this to my engineer husband or not. :-D
     
  7. bluewillow

    bluewillow New Seed

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    Very entertaining!

    bw ;)
     
  8. Netty

    Netty Chaotic Gardener Plants Contributor

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