A slight soreness in the heart region

Category: Ramblings | Posted: Tue Feb 19, 2008 10:39 pm

"I can't understand why you're keeping that car. You can certainly afford to get yourself a better one to drive around in." I didn't realize at first that the statement was meant for me, but when I looked around there was only me and him in there, and unless the horses had taken up driving, the chap was addressing me.

I straightened up and took a long look at my car. It's 19 years old, it starts when I want it to, takes me as far as I want to go, has heating in the seats, a bit of rust around the bottom, lots of little scratches and dents all over, and only stop when I say so. It's grey, and dirtier on the inside than on the outside. I can pull fencing out of the grass with it, drive up steep, snow covered hills without any problems, and even push heavy hay bales or pull other cars out of ditches if need be.

"Well, it's in perfect working order..." I said. The truth is, it suits me fine. Mainly because it works and it's what I need. Which of course my conversation partner couldn't understand, and proceeded to tell me so in no uncertain terms. I felt a bit confused, but managed to understand the main message of his monologue: My car's a disgrace and I should be ashamed to drive in it.

Now, why should I bother listening to him, and even feel bad about what he said? Probably because I've heard other verses of the same song for most of my life. About my clothes, my chosen studies, curtains, carpets, furniture and husband. They just aren't good enough. "For whom?" I ask. Well, for me, of course! That's when they loose me.

As long as I'm perfectly content with what I have, and what I have works just fine, how can it not be "good enough"? I refuse to change my curtains and carpets because the style is indefinable. I selected them for just that purpose, because I want them to last for longer than one season. I am not throwing the coffee table out because it has some scratches, and I'm definately not changing the sofa just because it was bought back in 1995. It's dark leather and I can't see any signs of wear on it so far.

I know people who love interior decorating, and others who have a passion for fashion, but I'd never stand myself on a pedestal and start deriding them for their life styles. I can see the pleasure they get from adding the perfect detail or the lovely accessories, and I am pleased for them.

So why can't they be pleased for me when they can see I'm happy? Is it because they think I'm not? Or is it because they can't understand that I choose to spend my money on the children, the horses and the garden instead of getting myself a lot of stuff that I neither want nor need? I feel that the peacock mentality rules around here, but I don't want to be part of it. When I buy, I want to buy solid, timeless and lasting. With all the money everybody else is spending, the economy won't suffer because I won't participate.

Thank you very much for letting me vent some steam. I feel better already.

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Frank wrote on Tue Feb 19, 2008 10:51 pm:

I totally agree Droopy. I think the reason people say such things stems out of an insecurity. If a person is happy with, for instance their car, why else would they ever have to ask that question? How could it possibly help them, it's certainly not helping you is it.

One of life's annoyances.

toni wrote on Tue Feb 19, 2008 10:55 pm:

They aren't happy so sometimes they consider it their mission in life to make sure other's are not as happy as they think they are.

I have heard the same sort of comments all my life too...about my hair, clothes, vehicles, the fact that I chose to be a stay-at-home Mom and even our house.
We have only 9 years left on a 30 year mortgage, we don't have a car payment at this time, Randy's truck is 38 yrs old, my car is 7 yrs old. Neither of us sees the point of spending our lives working just so others will be happy that we live in a big house and drive new cars.

eileen wrote on Tue Feb 19, 2008 11:39 pm:

Droopy ignore people like this - I do. I get comments all the time about the type of car we have, our old cottage, the length of my hair, my clothes etc etc. Who cares? Not me. I love my life, family and all the things that make me ME. Stay exactly the way you are and don't even think of getting rid of that faithful old car of yours or anything else for that matter.

Kratz7 wrote on Tue Feb 19, 2008 11:52 pm:

Wow! I totally agree with all of you.

Maybe it has to do with our Love of Gardening...... and being "Down to Earth".

Hubby and I have a twin house that's 20 years old and we bought it 19 years ago. March of 2008 (yes, next month)it will be Paid in Full with the Bank. We are 44 years old and I have always been the type to be thrifty and disciplined enough to pay extra on the mortage.

I shop at thrift stores as I like older clothing styles better than the most updated trendy styles. New styles show too much flesh.....

I love to look at all of the beautiful houses that belong to the Jones',but I don't want to be the Jones' and live to work and pay bills.

My goal is to live comfortably and to be happy & healthy.

I totally think too many people work too much and don't "take the time to smell the roses".

Well, I rattled on too much,

Thanks fo bringing up the topic droopy.....

Kratz7

CritterPainter wrote on Tue Feb 19, 2008 11:56 pm:

Can't fathom why anyone would think it was their place to tell you to change like that. Must be their own insecurity talking? Around here, lots of folks bought fancy houses and cars for the sake of the neighbors. The economy has turned and they are defaulting on them right and left. No thanks!

Biita wrote on Wed Feb 20, 2008 12:54 am:

droopy, to heck with em' all is what i say. well okay a little stronger than that. if its something that fits your needs, thats all that matters,,

I would of asked the person if you get a new car is he paying the payment each month? if so, show me the nearest car lot!

everything i have here belonged or is used by someone else. the house is over 150 yrs old, the furniture is used or antique from the farm. my car is 20 yrs old an just fine with me. my clothes are, what i like to call, functioning hippy era, and my husband, bless his heart, other women would of drowned him in the sea by now. but its all mine and i wouldn't change a thing!

glendann wrote on Wed Feb 20, 2008 2:47 am:

Ignore them and keep on doing your way I do.Its know ones business what you drive,what you wear,what style you dress in and have as furniture.I'm one that wold tell someone to tend to there own business and I would tend to mine.

Droopy wrote on Wed Feb 20, 2008 8:04 am:

Thank you for your support, all of you. People are talking about standards of living, but why does that always apply to what stuff you own? What about the inner standards of living? People lie, steal and avoid taxes. I would never do that. I prefer to learn new things instead of buying new things. My way of thinking is probably so alien they're regarding me as a threat.

Palm Tree wrote on Wed Feb 20, 2008 8:30 am:

Gosh Droopy I think all Stewbies are somewhat like you. I am also like that. I have two vehicles. One to drive my family in and another for fun stuff like gardening and that one used to be my vehicle that I used when working in formal employment. YOu should have seen and heard the comments I had to put up with. (It did not bother me a bit) You see that specific vehicle is a pickup that dates from 1884 (that was when I bought it) it has two non-matching colors, 4x4 abilities with diff lock and the whole lot, not the new fancy stuff, but an engine that has never let me down which is more than I can say for that car which is also about 15 years old.
People who can't say something good, or see the good in not wasting - must be wacked. Standards of living is what we choose it to be for ourselves. And your heart is in the right place.

Droopy wrote on Wed Feb 20, 2008 8:51 am:

Thank you Palm Tree. I should probably mention that my husband's car is fairly good-looking, but not new either.

bethie wrote on Wed Feb 20, 2008 12:58 pm:

How lovely that you are content. Here it is a Nation of conspicuous consumerism and contentment still seems in short supply. Too bad you can't bottle it and sell it..

Droopy wrote on Wed Feb 20, 2008 3:02 pm:

If I could, would anybody buy it, I wonder?

Netty wrote on Wed Feb 20, 2008 4:36 pm:

I totally agree with you Droopy. My car is 20 years old and runs just fine thank you very much!
I live in a 75 year old house and I really don't care what the neighbors have. I've had the same hairstyle for ? years and can't think of the last time I bought brand new cloths. I'm very content and I don't owe loads of money on credit cards.

Droopy wrote on Wed Feb 20, 2008 8:02 pm:

I feel we're the lucky ones, Netty. Life is less complicated when you're content.

kuntrygal wrote on Thu Feb 21, 2008 3:24 am:

My mother always taught me that if you 'couldn't say something nice, not to say anything at all'.

Sjoerd wrote on Fri Mar 21, 2008 1:27 am:

It's a late entry, but still an entry in support of you.
I am not sure that the chap's attitude was based in jelosy or even insecurity--it could be something as basic as the "ant complex"-you know, that quality in some folks where they believe that everyone should be the same in terms of appearance, beliefs, behaviour... comforming to the same standard. These people do not care one bit about your personal happiness, in fact conformance is central here...not (your) contentment.
You know you may well have struck upon a part of this thing when you wondered if he felt threatened by you. The type of people that I have just described, do indeed feel threatened by things that are not the same as themselves.
In fact the behaviour that puzzles you, I suspect is more complicated than what we think at first glance, and is probably a combination of factors. I believe that the basis is very primal though- selfish and centered on HIS comfort.
Your life and choices are perfect for you. Period.

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