Remembering the loss of loved ones during the holiday season can be especially hard. I lost my father on Christmas Eve several years ago and the event relives itself every Christmas. I think those that have gone before us would want us to remember the happier times and focus on the future. Jerry
Barb, as I am new here and obviously do not know anyone that well yet but my heart is out to you. We are born living with the knowledge of our parents, more than likely, going before us but not our children. Breathing one breath at a time is all you can do right now. Time doesn't always "heal" but it does give you ability to learn to cope. Here is a poem someone sent me when my daughter passed away. Maybe you could read it to your family members so they may see that you do NEED for them to remember Debbie and how much it would mean for them to speak of her: Remembering Go ahead and mention my child The one that died you know Don't worry about hurting me further The depth of my pain doesn't show. Don't worry about making my cry I'm already crying inside Help me to heal by releasing The tears that I try to hide. I'm hurt when you just keep silent Pretending it doesn't exist I'd rather you mention my child Knowing that she has been missed. You ask me how I'm doing I say "pretty good" or "fine" But healing is something on going and it will take a lifetime.
The ones who have passed are never truly gone. We have them always in our memories, both the good and the bad. I have no need for photographs, nor other tangible reminder. I have them always in my heart, as they have me in theirs. They are my strength when weary. my harbor in a troubled sea. I think of the silences shared, along with the laughter. No, they are never truly gone. When we too pass and join them, once again the silence and laughter will be shared. Till then, think of them often, and weep, or laugh, these are really one and the same, for either one heals the soul. Hopefully, this bit of drivel is of some help. FBG
Today was my Lil Debbies birthday. I got so many emails and phone calls from her friends wanting to talk about her special points. They all say she was truly a gentle, kind, uplifting and loving person. They all said she was the sunshine when she walked into a room. It was true. She always had a smile no matter how heavy her thoughts were. She is gone over 2 years now and I am wondering when this horrible pain is going away. I have devoted myself to my husband to keep me going. He stood by me all those years of her being sick. He did more than the average fella would ever do for her and me. I don't know how others do it. I thank you all for your wonderful comments. It really helps during these terrible times. Missing my only child so much it hurts......
I know how hard it is.My first baby lived 18 1/2hours and that broke my heart to lose him.My second son was run over by a car on his bike he died on Oct.16th and his 10th birthday was Oct 24th.He was such a joy in my life .When I think of him I smile.ITS been lots of years ago 1973.I still miss him.
Oh my! I only had one child but if I had more and lost a second one I surely couldn't have lived through it. I couldn't have taken the pain. We were just saying tonight how much better I am doing. Two years ago I couldn't have even set the dining room table let alone cooked for company and this evening I set a real nice table with a very small but good meal for my sister and hubby and me. No problem. I did fine even though during alone times I do cry at the drop of a hat. Still really hurts allot. Thanks for all my fellow stewers for all your stories and compassion. You are all so special.
It's YOU that is special being able to cope so well with your loss. I deem myself so lucky that I only lost my first daughter. I have two sons and my 'baby' daughter who is now thirty. The pain never goes entirely when you lose a child but time helps us to heal. My thoughts are with you and, even though the tears aren't far away, I know you are one of the bravest of women.
My heart goes out to all of you who have lost a loved one, wish I could hug you all! They say that time heals all wounds, but I'm not sure they heal, maybe they just get less raw. Mostly it's thanks to the people around us, that we can work through our grief & give it a place in our life. (In our family we have a little tradition, we plant a tree when a family member passes away. It's as if that person stays with us a little bit.)
