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Category: Serendipity | Posted: Tue Apr 02, 2013 7:05 pm

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In today's mail we received three letters, and obviously someone knows something we don't!
First, we got a letter from The Neptune Society, offering to cremate our remains and dump an urn containing same into the Florida Keys. We used to go to the Caribbean to vacation and snorkel, and enjoyed seeing the marine life and corals. We didn't go to see an urn laying on the sand, containing Aunt Myrtle's remains. Sanibel Island is famous for shells, not for the shells of the departed.
Then our second piece of mail was from the AARP (American Association of Retired Persons) offering us life insurance "so we wouldn't leave a burden for our loved ones." Believe me, I don't care! Society hates the sight of a rotting corpse, so someone is going to see that I go underground. I don't need "additional insurance to relieve the burden on my loved ones." I'll take grief any way I can get it--financial or emotional, somebody is going to care that I'm gone!
The final piece of mail was from our local water supplier, telling us that the arsenic level in our water was above acceptable levels. We were assured that "THIS IS NOT AN EMERGENCY" and we didn't need to go to an alternative water supply. If you have "health concerns" it may cause increased chance of cancer, skin damage, or problems with the circulatory system. Well, that about covers it. Fortunately we filter drinking and cooking water and the hens drink rainwater. We also don't bathe that often . . . .
So, if you don't hear from me for a while, contact the Neptune Society to see if I'm laying on the bottom of the Florida Keys, the AARP to see if I've opted out of "providing for my loved ones", and the local water supply to see if arsenic poisoning did me in.


This blog entry has been viewed 392 times

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Frank wrote on Tue Apr 02, 2013 7:59 pm:

A right triple-whammy there MG :D

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cherylad wrote on Tue Apr 02, 2013 8:53 pm:

I'd be a little worried if it were me! LOL

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Donna S wrote on Tue Apr 02, 2013 10:06 pm:

You always make me laugh. Thanks

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Jewell wrote on Tue Apr 02, 2013 11:09 pm:

Love you post! You just made me healthier from all the giggles.

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eileen wrote on Wed Apr 03, 2013 12:27 am:

Talk about being attacked from all sides!! Maybe there's a conspiracy going on and they're determined to get you one way or the other. LOL

Thanks for making my day!!

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williebb123 wrote on Wed Apr 03, 2013 8:48 am:

if the water is safe then why bother to send you a letter maybe to cover their ass i did some checking a year back cause we are on a well so i had the water tested and our arsenic was raised but within safe levels but the filters that will take stuff like that out are pretty pricey and you have to replace them every so often oh well we gotta die of something huh

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Tooty2shoes wrote on Wed Apr 03, 2013 2:57 pm:

ROTGLOL that is way to funny. I agree with Eileen and Willieb. Sounds like a conspiracy to me. Wonder where all the arsenic is coming from? They probably wouldn't tell you that.

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mart wrote on Fri Apr 05, 2013 11:52 pm:

MG,, have you ever considered putting all your blog topics in book form ? I started reading a while back and couldn`t stop !! Laughed the entire time. Had to stop once and blow my nose and wipe mny eyes !!

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