Surprise or no surprise!

Category: Choices | Posted: Tue Feb 19, 2008 7:54 pm

Sunday, we went to Phoenix to see my sister. Her daughter e-mailed me last week and said Maxine & Ed were having their 40th anniversary this week and they were having a luncheon for them on Sunday about 11 am. So, I e-mailed her that since we had been planning on going down for the last two weeks and hadn't made it we would come down. So, we got there at about two minutes to eleven. There were no other cars there. I rang the doorbell and no one answered. I rang it again and we had just about decided that we were supposed to go to her daughter's house. Then, Maxine answered the door, still in her gown and robe. She asked, "What are you doing here?" I told her, "We were invited." She looked so confused and wondered how she had invited us and forgot about it. Then, her granddaughter showed up with a gift bag in hand and said, "Happy Anniversary, Grandma!" Maxine sighed and said, "I'd better go get dressed. I imagine the rest of the family is on the way." Her phone rang and it was another daughter saying, "We're on our way." Maxine said that her husband had a bad night so she was just reading and trying not to wake him. He came up the hall, saw the people and told her she had better go get dresses. The day turned out well. They enjoyed themselves but she wasn't prepared for guests and wished they had given her a bit of notice so she could have at least cleaned off the table before they descended and piled it high with food bags and disposable dishes.
They had all chipped in and bought her a swing for the yard with the awning over it and little glass tables attached to the arms. The guys spent the afternoon assembling it and only had four bolts left over. She said it didn't break when they took turns sitting on it so maybe they were just extras. It's been my experience to have not enough bolts, not too many. We took her a comforter for their bed as she had told me a few weeks ago that they needed a new one but she hadn't found one she felt they could buy at the time. Ed is disabled and they live on a budget.
So, my question is, would you like a surprise party or would you like to know ahead of time? Her daughter said, "But, when I talked to you last night you were feeling okay." But, sometimes Ed has a bad night when he was fine during the day.
I myself would not like a surprise party. I would like to be prepared, especially if people were coming to my house. I sometimes leave dishes in the sink and my table is always piled with things. Somedays I wonder that we have a place to eat. It's definitely not a place for everything and everything in it's place at my house. dooley

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Droopy wrote on Tue Feb 19, 2008 9:55 pm:

We gave my mother a surprise party for her 60th birthday, and she wasn't too happy about it either, even though all she needed to do was smile, talk and eat. We invited her out to dinner and gave her a week's notice. Then we invited her closest friends and some family, and told them all it was to be a surprise and to hide somewhere in the restaurant until she was seated. She enjoyed herself once she got over the initial feeling of having been set-up, but we're not doing it agin.

I would never invite anybody to anyone's home without having cleared it with them first. Our couch is piled high with laundry at the moment, and I guess other people do the same as I do.

eileen wrote on Tue Feb 19, 2008 11:52 pm:

Dooley I agree with you and wouldn't be too happy to have a surprise party laid on for me. I like my home to be clean and tidy when I'm having guests so would feel uncomfortable if all my crafting odds and ends were lying around the place as they usually are. I feel much more relaxed if I have plenty of warning of an upcoming event.

glendann wrote on Wed Feb 20, 2008 3:24 am:

I have never liked surprise
party's here at my house .I'm like everyone else.It would have upset me even if I acted like it was fine.

Palm Tree wrote on Wed Feb 20, 2008 8:43 am:

Ooohh

I better watch out and be very alert and look for signs of "surprise parties". I do not like being surprised in that way and my family might be planning on such an event when my birthday comes around.
I suppose it is all fine and well organizing the surprise but not when one is at the receiving end. I would also be quite upset.